Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Week 31 Update

Week 31 has come and gone.  I did lose the last pound I gained on vacation.  It took me about two weeks to gain the weight and about that long to get it back off.  I am lucky I was able to lose that last pound because last week was full of eating.

Our "go-to couple" took us out to eat at Michael Symon's Roast which is amazing and pretty darn pricey.  We have only been there a handful of times because my husband and I are cheap and have a hard time spending $250 on a meal for the two of us.  But let me tell you, everything on the menu is incredible.  I had "the beast of the day" tacos which just happened to be suckling pig.  I also had some mac n'cheese and some fried brussel sprouts which I always dream about.  I also sampled everyone elses food.  There was much wine and even some dessert.  It was a great night for a foodie like me.

It is my husband's birthday Thursday as well as our anniversary.  It feels like we have been celebrating with friends and family for the past week and will continue to celebrate this week.  I am working on keeping portions small and making the best of each meal (making healthy choices).  On Thursday when we go out for our anniversary/birthday dinner all bets will be off.  We are going to a fantastic seafood place and I am getting what I damn well please.  Tomorrow we have a giant work potluck and I plan on ignoring it.

My husband will be back at work full-time next week and I plan to get my eating strapped down then.  I am ready to start losing again and have some good motivation.  My husband is in a wedding the beginning of October and I would like to feel great in a new dress.  I am not putting a number on it... but I am going to do what I can between now and then.

Have a great week all!

Friday, August 16, 2013

Week 30/ 7 Month Update

There is good news and there is bad news this week.  The good news is that I lost 2 lbs of the weight I gained on vacation.  The bad news is that I didn't lose all the weight I gained.  The goodbad news is that I lost 3 lbs in the last month.  That is not very stellar at all, but it is still 3 lbs.  I would like to lose at least 4 lbs a month.

The summer is always a much harder time for me to lose weight.  People always say summer is ideal because there is fresh produce and you are outside more and blah blah blah.... but for me, it is a much more social time of year.  We travel, take vacations, attend parties, and just do more stuff.  This month is also my husbands birthday and our 10 year anniversary.  We aren't planning on doing anything big but there will be some special meals I refuse to deny myself.  My husband is a teacher and he is home in the summer... something happens when we aren't on a normal schedule.  We eat much less ideal.  So, he goes back to school the first week of September and that is when things are going to get real for me.  Don't get me wrong... I am going to try to stay on track and lose some weight in the next few weeks.. but I expect the serious work to begin in September.  I would like to be 175 by October 5th.  That seems like it should be doable.  That is roughly 8 lbs in 7 weeks.  But to actually get there I need to start kicking ass and taking names.

The other piece of good news... I am wearing an adorable dress today.  It is an xl and I am working it.  It makes me very happy.

Have a good weekend all!

Monday, August 12, 2013

Back from vacation/Family reunion

I am back to work after a 1.5 week vacation.  Vacation may not actually be the right way to put it.  We were at my parents place in the upper peninsula of MI.  They live on a beautiful lake and it looks like a vacation local.  However, we were there for a family reunion.  It was my mom's side of the family and there were about 60 people there.  Some of my cousins I haven't seen in 15 years.

I ended up doing a lot of prep, cooking, cleaning to help my parents get ready for the reunion.  My sister's family was also there and she has 3 kids so it was a little insane.  My temper gets very short when I am around chaos.  I am a little bit of a clean freak, and to put it nicely, my sister's family is not overly concerned with neatness.

Overall, we had a nice time.  I was happy to see my family, but I was more than ready to come back home.  I ate like shit... drank too much and came home with a 3 lb weight gain.  I am hoping now that I am back on track, it will be "fake weight" that won't stick around.

I know I said this not too long again, but I am going to say it again.  This weight loss thing is still really hard.  I hear so many of you talk about how you go on vacation and you come back with a weight loss... I have had 2 bariatric surgeries and have never had that experience.  Granted, I am not as committed this time around... I am going on 4 years out since my first surgery and I just don't have the same intensity I did in 2009.  I still love food, I still have to tell myself to make the right decision every day.  I make the right decision a good majority of the time and I know that makes me successful, but it will never be something I don't have to think about.

I come from a family where food is love and I enjoy eating.  I have been in therapy, talked about this in depth and am aware of my demons.  I know when I go home I am sucked right back into "eating rituals" and indulgences.  When I come back to my adult life I have to drag myself out and get back on track.  That may not be normal, but it is my life and I have to deal with it.  I am pretty good at it and often feel relieved to get back on a normal eating schedule.  At nearly 7 months our from my sleeve, I realize the rest of my life my weight battle may be easier.. but not easy.  I am still really looking forward to getting back into the 170's for the first time since my band.  I know I have to work a little harder now that I had this small gain... but I know I will eventually get there.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Week 28

I can not believe it is already August!  This summer has gone by way too fast.  I had a great week for weight loss and actually dropped 2 lbs this week.  I am 181 as of today and inching closer to the 170's.  I have been in the 180s for 7 weeks now.  It looks like it is taking me about 2 months to lose 10 lbs these days.  That is perfectly okay, I am happy as long as the scale is moving down.  I can't wait to be back in the overweight category and out of the obese.  I should be seeing that change soon as well.  I am down 78 lbs from my highest weight.

My clothes are really fitting differently these days and I have moved down a size in pants.  I fit very comfortably in a 14 and will soon be in 12.  It always takes me much longer to change sizes.  I feel good and strong and healthy.  I am proud of how far I have come.

My sister posted a link from a blog yesterday.  I am going to copy and paste it here.  I think this is really excellent advice.  I truly think my weight became a problem the first time I became aware of my body in a negative light.  My mom was often on a diet, talked about losing weight, and disliked her body.  She never talked about my body or gave me any fat shaming.  She was a great mother, but I joined weight watchers when I was a freshman in high school because I wanted to.  I wish she would have told me no.  I was 164 lbs.  At 5'4" I was over weight... but I looked healthy, was active and had a pretty normal relationship with food.... until I dieted.  Every diet I went on from that point on I would lose weight and then gain it all back plus more.  It became very dysfunctional and I began having a twisted relationship with food.  I am sure most of you can relate.  Anyway, I found this blog post really inspiring.  Though I don't have any kids of my own (and don't want any), I will be more aware when I am around other.  Grown women as well as girls.

How to talk to your daughter about her body

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.