So... I lost my motivation, and then I found it again, and then I lost it for a couple of days and then I found it again. I am trying to string together enough days of motivation to start making a difference. My anxiety has been through the roof lately, and I just don't handle eating well when I am in a place of panic. It becomes the least important thing to me even though I know eating well improves my anxiety.
I have had chronic anxiety my whole life... and I am on meds which help a lot. Lately I am wondering if I need my dose upped. Anyway, I am not looking for sympathy or excuses. I just want to keep it real.
On to my sleeve story. In January I will be two years out from my sleeve surgery. I had a band for nearly 3 years before that and felt like I had a pretty good handle on the basics of eating post weight loss surgery. Today, I was eating dinner at work (I work until 9) and I was eating some plain baked chicken (forgot the bbq sauce) and brown rice and some carrots. I was eating at a fairly good clip because I had lots of stuff to get done. I do this often and it is never a problem. Well after I finished eating I was sitting at my desk working on stuff and I started to feel really nauseous.. Then I started having stomach pain. I can't tell you how long it has been since I have been "stuck". For God sake, I can easily eat 2 pieces of pizza while driving if I want to with no issues. After about a half an hour it was getting worse and I knew I was going to puke. I bet it has been a year since I have puked from a sleeve related reason.
After I thought about it, all the food I ate was really dry. Also rice could potentially be a problem sometimes but hasn't been for months. I got cocky, and I pushed my stomach... and I paid. My misdeeds have been noted. Hopefully I won't do the whole puking thing for a long time.