tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963550663986781072024-02-06T22:27:15.301-08:00The forever dietSuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.comBlogger444125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-68493238434060061412016-03-14T12:52:00.001-07:002016-03-14T12:52:17.913-07:00Life is hardI haven't blogged in a really long time. Life has been really tough the last. My dad was really sick last spring, they couldn't figure out what was going on and he was finally diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. He went through 6 months of chemo and finished this past December. It is chronic disease, so not curable. He got the all clear in January that he is in full remission. How long that remission will last is anyone's guess. We are hoping it is years. He is still struggling with not feeling the best, we are hoping it is the chemo and not a return of the cancer. He will see his doctor the end of this month for his 3 month check-up.<br />
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In October, just a few days before my birthday our puppy Frankie passed away during a surgery. On Friday I had picked him up from doggy daycare and he was acting a little weird. I wasn't sure what was going on but once we got home and we were there for a little while, I realize something was really wrong. We took him straight to the emergency vet. They thought he had a hernia because he was in a lot of pain. They admitted him and let us know he would go into surgery that night or the next morning. The next morning the vet called and explained that it wasn't a hernia but he had an infection in his abdomen and had dead tissue that had to be removed. They expected great success and a quick recovery. The next couple days we spoke with the vet and they wanted to keep him on iv antibiotics. Sunday night this started to go down hill. He wasn't responding as well to the antibiotics and couldn't keep anything down. By Monday the vet wanted to operate again because he was showing signs of sepsis. That evening they took him in to the operating room again where he died on the table. He was 14 months old. I don't have kids, our pets are like children to us. This was one of the most painful things I had ever been through. I was devastated and had a hard time living life for a couple months. <br />
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To makes things worse, a couple weeks after Frankie died our other dog who had just turned 11, was diagnosed with fairly aggressive non-responsive to treatment cancer. We tried some holistic stuff and prednisone which worked great for a few months. We lost him a few weeks ago. <br />
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We did have some bright spots in this all. About 6 weeks ago we adopted a 3 year old boxer named Molly from a rescue. Her and our senior dog got along great and she was so sweet to him in his last weeks. He was doing really well when we first got her so he had a great month with her before he started going downhill. Molly has really helped us get through the tough loss of our amazing Ike. <br />
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I am doing okay all in all. I don't mean to just give a huge sob story. My weight is a disaster. I have been eating my feelings for the past 6 months and need to get it under control. I know eating isn't a good response to emotion, but it is what I know best. My friends and family, and especially my husband have been incredible through all the drama. Hope you are all well in blog land!SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-27938598733899484412015-05-11T07:57:00.005-07:002015-05-11T07:57:54.835-07:0012 Week out and feeling greatIt has been a little over 12 weeks since I had my back surgery. I am officially restriction free... though I pretty much have some restrictions for the rest of my life because I have some other sketchy disks.<br />
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I am feeling good as new these days as far as it comes to my back. However, my weight situation is not so super. I started getting really hardcore today and counting calories and pre-planning meals. I need to drop a good 20 lbs and my clothes are all tight. I can't keep pretending that I am making good food choices and that I can handle it without counting calories. <br />
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Now that I am okay to exercise again, I need to do more. I need to have a physical in a couple of months and I would like to make a dent in my weight loss. Hopefully it will stick this time.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-51457281198344736582015-03-03T14:46:00.000-08:002015-03-03T14:46:02.202-08:00RecoveryWell, I am two weeks and 5 days out from my microdiscectomy. It was the best decision I have ever made. I woke up from my longer than expected surgery with zero pain, other than my incision pain. I never knew how amazing that could feel. Don't get me wrong, the incision and back pain sucked, but laying on my back never felt so good. I hadn't slept through the night, or even been able to just lay on my back since October. <br />
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I went from taking 6 percocet, 4 gabapentin, and 2 Valium a day to taking a Motrin or two. It is like a miracle. My surgeon said the surgery went perfectly. However, it was bigger and worse than he had first expected so he had to fish around more and got two additional pieces (besides the original rupture) out. The first 3 days were heavy pain meds and valium and each day got better from then on out. I still have to be very careful with proper lifting, bending, and sitting, and all that for a few months. It is hard already because I feel so good. I have a terrible "tramp stamp" from when I was 18 and I had hoped it would get cut so I would have a good excuse to have a cover-up... not such luck. This is the tiny incision I ended up with.<br />
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I did have a really horrific time with the anesthesia even though they knew ahead of time. I puked a ton. I guess I told the recovery nurse, "Yeah, I am puking, and I am not going to apologize". As soon as I was with it, the puking went away and I was up in out in about an hour. I spent the first few days sleeping a lot. I did have all my wonderful kitties and these two to see me through my recovery.<br />
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I love to watch the surgeries I have AFTER I have them. If you are interested, this is not me, but it is the exact procedure. Click the link for <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXyZ2FJMh2s&feature=youtu.be" target="_blank">Microdiscectomy surgery</a>.</div>
SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-62349183508036866912015-02-03T16:48:00.000-08:002015-02-03T16:48:40.891-08:00Back Pain UpdateSo, I appreciate all the great advice and kind words from you all. Let me start by saying... I have tried many things. Chiropractor (tons), Decompression Therapy, Light Therapy, I bought an inversion table and used it many times a day, drugs, steroid injection, physical therapy, and more. <br />
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The injection gave me absolutely no relief and may have actually made the pain a little worse. After going back to the pain management doctor and talking about options, he went over my MRI with me. I have a true rupture that is very substantial. He called it gargantuan. I met with a neurosurgeon. He also said the rupture is just too large and too far gone for anything but surgery to work.<br />
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I feel like I gave it the college try. It has been almost 4 months and I can't live like this anymore. A week from Thursday (2/12) I will be having a microdiscectomy. As far as back surgeries go, it is fairly easy. It will be out patient but the recovery will be hard for me since I will be so restricted. I will go back to work after 4 weeks off. <br />
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I can't believe I am having surgery again. But, I feel positive that I can finally get some relief and get on with my life. SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-28224266032239302922015-01-20T17:10:00.000-08:002015-01-20T17:11:51.551-08:00It has been a couple months... UPDATEOkay, so it has been a couple of months since I have blogged anything. In mid October of last year I started having sciatica. It was annoying at first and I was able to get by with Motrin. By the time I posted my last post I had begged my doctor to do something and she sent me to physical therapy. A few weeks after I started physical therapy I went to see my doctor and had a major melt down. By that point I wasn't sleeping (maybe 3 hours a night) and was really hurting 24/7. The Motrin was barely taking the edge off and I was having a hard time functioning. <br />
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My doctor referred me to a pain management doctor. By this time it was late December. I saw the pain management doctor who sent me for a MRI. The MRI confirmed I have a ruptured disc. The doctor said he wanted to send me for a epidural injection and hope for the best but he thinks surgery will be needed. My injection was scheduled for 1/13 but on 1/11 I went into Urgent Care with a bad sore throat. I had an infection and needed antibiotics. The injection can't be done while sick or on antibiotics so now it is rescheduled for 1/27. I am still not sleeping, taking lots of narcotics, anti inflammatory and a nerve pain blocker. It makes very little difference. I am miserable! <br />
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Sitting hurts, laying down hurts, standing hurts... I am so tired and miserable. The strangest thing is, I have no idea how I hurt my back. For the past few years I have had issues with muscle spasms a couple times a year. I would take some muscle relaxers for a couple days and be good as new. This is an entirely different ball game. I work full-time, and getting myself through the day can be really hard. The mornings and nights are the worst and if I can get myself moving and stretched out I can tolerate the pain with the meds. <br />
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With all this going on I have totally neglected any exercise or good diet. Sometimes I eat just because it makes me feel better. The good news is one of the only things that brings me relief is walking. So, when I am up in the middle of the night I get on the treadmill and walk. I walk a couple miles every morning before work. The bad news is that my diet has not helped me and I have only maintained me weight. Losing is not at all of a priority though. Surviving is my only goal right now.<br />
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This post sounds really depressing, and though I am hating every second of this... I am making due. I am just praying I don't have to have another surgery. <br />
<br />SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-8214127842513714642014-11-11T15:26:00.005-08:002014-11-11T15:26:56.149-08:00The Sleeve is a Strange AnimalSo... I lost my motivation, and then I found it again, and then I lost it for a couple of days and then I found it again. I am trying to string together enough days of motivation to start making a difference. My anxiety has been through the roof lately, and I just don't handle eating well when I am in a place of panic. It becomes the least important thing to me even though I know eating well improves my anxiety. <br />
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I have had chronic anxiety my whole life... and I am on meds which help a lot. Lately I am wondering if I need my dose upped. Anyway, I am not looking for sympathy or excuses. I just want to keep it real.<br />
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On to my sleeve story. In January I will be two years out from my sleeve surgery. I had a band for nearly 3 years before that and felt like I had a pretty good handle on the basics of eating post weight loss surgery. Today, I was eating dinner at work (I work until 9) and I was eating some plain baked chicken (forgot the bbq sauce) and brown rice and some carrots. I was eating at a fairly good clip because I had lots of stuff to get done. I do this often and it is never a problem. Well after I finished eating I was sitting at my desk working on stuff and I started to feel really nauseous.. Then I started having stomach pain. I can't tell you how long it has been since I have been "stuck". For God sake, I can easily eat 2 pieces of pizza while driving if I want to with no issues. After about a half an hour it was getting worse and I knew I was going to puke. I bet it has been a year since I have puked from a sleeve related reason.<br />
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After I thought about it, all the food I ate was really dry. Also rice could potentially be a problem sometimes but hasn't been for months. I got cocky, and I pushed my stomach... and I paid. My misdeeds have been noted. Hopefully I won't do the whole puking thing for a long time.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-79705412570184150072014-11-04T16:34:00.002-08:002014-11-04T16:34:23.116-08:00The struggle is realHere I am, back again after a way too long hiatus. I am now a year older and zero pounds lighter. I was just too busy celebrating my pre-birthday, birthday, and post-birthday.<br />
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I did however, dress up as a squirrel for Halloween. It was <span style="text-align: center;">fantastic. </span><br />
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<span id="goog_2118476595"></span>SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-68035082028070238672014-09-09T16:44:00.003-07:002014-09-09T16:44:49.589-07:00Back On Track?I had a very successful week of eating last week. I followed my WW points to the t. I had a loss of 4.6 lbs. I am sure most of that was water weight from my out of control eating but I will take it. This week had a bit of a bumpy start. I had a work lunch yesterday with pizza, garlic knots, and salad. Guess what I ate the least of.... salad. It was delicious and I used almost all of my weekly point allowance. <br />
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My husband is also following WW... or so he says. I had him join and download the ap. So far he has gained a pound. I feel for him. He has never had to diet before. He needs to get his cholesterol down and get healthier. He doesn't want to but he knows he should. He hates having to track everything and he needs to learn to do it for himself. O well... I will just try to be very supportive. <br />
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The hardest part for me is cutting out my Starbux habit that has become a daily indulgence. I think about it constantly. <br />
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Here's hoping I will report another loss next Monday.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-45872569652756604672014-08-23T08:35:00.007-07:002014-08-23T08:35:53.702-07:00Update, Struggling, Being HonestBarb is calling out all bandsters to update and reach out if needed. I am no longer banded since I had my revision to sleeve in 2013. Let's be real for a minute. I feel like I am failing. When I was banded in 2009 I was 260 lbs. When I had my band removed in 2012 I was 199 lbs. I then had to gain enough weight to qualify for a sleeve. It was way too easy and by the time my sleeve surgery rolled around I was 246 lbs. Today I am 189 lbs. I am struggling to not plop over the 190 mark. My sleeve has really gotten much less restrictive and I can eat almost anything. The summer has been so much fun. My husband and I have taken multiple vacations and eaten like we are on vacation every day. There is so much dessert! <br />
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My husband went for his physical recently and was told he needed to lose weight and clean up his eating because his cholesterol was sky high. He has never really had a weight problem and now only carries around an extra 20 lbs. We decided we would join weight watchers online and follow it together. In theory this sounds like a great plan. It is much harder in reality. He gets 42 points a day and I get 29. I am HUNGRY. I WANT ice cream. Some days are better than others, some are terrible. Sometimes I lose complete control and eat a handful of chocolate chips. But, I am trying and I know it is time to get serious for both our health. My husband is also struggling. He likes to eat out and loves beer. He is realizing how hard it is to eat out and have enough points to be satisfied. <br />
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The good news is that I haven't given up. I am going to keep on trying and making improvements every day. I am also going to try to update my blog at least once a week. <br />
<br />SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-84129704673097538062014-06-11T08:01:00.001-07:002014-06-11T08:01:31.767-07:00Weight hasn't changed but life is rolling alongI haven't posted in forever. Life is just being lived and I am enjoying myself. Today I was cleaning out some old files at work and found some old pictures of myself. Wow... I was really heavy. I was uncomfortable and sad. Now I am a normal person who could lose a few pounds but I am mostly happy. <br />
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I have been exercising a lot more, but you all know that saying about not being able to out train a bad diet. I don't think my diet is bad. It just isn't good enough to lose weight. I drink more wine than I should... eat more carbs than I should but for the most part my choices are healthy.<br />
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I finally completed my half sleeve tattoo that I have been planning for some time. I love to garden. I have multiple large gardens. I have wanted a vegetable garden half sleeve for some time. After roughly 6.5 hours of tattooing it is done! I LOVE it!<br />
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That's all for me! Happy hump day.</div>
SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-75289950385215885182014-05-13T15:49:00.002-07:002014-05-13T15:49:36.159-07:00Broken RecordThis is me saying the same thing I have said for the last few months. This is so f*ing hard! I am struggling. I am hungry again. I am not losing... I am sort of maintaining and I have gained a little. I am bouncing around roughly 183 these days. I hate it... it is frustrating that I know what I need to do but just can't seem to do it. <br />
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I am exercising and trying to count calories. However, my life keeps getting in my way. I have too much fun with friends and family. I am legitimately hungry. I can't seem to make it a day with less than 1400 calories, and that is a good day. The full feeling I used to get after a cup of food is long gone. Granted, I could always eat more than most sleeved folks. My surgeon explained that revisions often have a much harder time than first timers and I think that has been the case with me.<br />
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The good news is that I still can't eat nearly what I used to be able to. It seems to limit the damage I can do. I am trying to eat lots of fruits and vegetables to minimize the damage but I am just so hungry! <br />
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I have a fit bit and have been doing great on the activity front, but I think that just adds to my hunger. Argh... the funny thing (not in a haha funny way) is that so many folks are struggling on the blogs. It just proves that weight loss surgery is not the "easy way". We all have to work for it and it is always a struggle. I am hoping to get 5 lbs off in the next month. I can do that right?<br />
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Take care all!SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-53507100029117192922014-03-13T15:47:00.000-07:002014-03-13T15:47:37.870-07:00What Am I Not Doing?Losing weight, that's what. I am such a slacker. I don't want to work any harder, therefore nothing is happening. Do I have an excuse? Yes a list a mile long. But they aren't any good. I mean stuff has been happening and life has been busy, but isn't that life? I am just being a big baby.<br />
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I was really sick this entire last week and once I am back to feeling 100% (hopefully by the weekend) it is time to get my ass in gear. I need to stop being a puss bag baby. That is all!SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-40811412315234492242014-01-25T11:48:00.002-08:002014-01-25T11:48:34.755-08:00Making progress... slowlyI am down 5 of the 8 lbs I gained over the holidays. That means still 3 lbs to go. I am making progress, eating better, exercising, tracking my food. That doesn't mean I am perfect and that this is easy. I have had a few less than good days. I have eaten chocolate, had too many drinks, and maybe even a cheeseburger. But.. I am making progress. <br />
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The weather is really making me struggle lately. It is SO cold, and so snowy. I think it is ramping up my seasonal affective disorder. I have been really anxious and stressed lately. I have also had some minor life drama that seems to be adding to it. Don't get me wrong, I am not making excuses for the way I am eating. However, when I look at the whole scope, I can see I am still using food as a coping mechanism. <br />
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When I was seeing a therapist I remember talking to her about using food as a coping tool. She explained to me that it isn't entirely bad as long as I am only doing it when I have no other tool to cope. She said to keep it in my "tool belt" for emergencies. I think I have cut back a great deal on food as comfort, but I am not sure I will ever be able to cut it out for good.<br />
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I am working all weekend which also makes me feel sorry for myself. There is no reason I should feel sorry for myself. Many people work weekends, I knew I would work weekends when I was doing my Masters program. I am a big baby.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-84959467570932099542014-01-17T05:37:00.001-08:002014-01-17T05:37:47.770-08:001 Year Out PhotoI decided to take a picture this morning to document what I look like at my 1 year out sleeveaversary. I don't look very different than I did a few months ago, but I think I look pretty good. Also, I am wearing the boots I love that were a huge NSV. They are regular boots.. not wide calf. That is something I couldn't have worn before. Happy Friday all.<br />
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SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-58991528053108104502014-01-16T11:33:00.000-08:002014-01-16T11:33:14.793-08:001 Year Out From RevisionToday I am exactly one year out from my revision to sleeve. I have had a pretty good year. As many of you may already know... I had my Lap Band out 6 months prior to my sleeve procedure. My insurance company would not cover the sleeve procedure because my BMI was too low. So... I had to gain weight (totally ridiculous and pisses me off still). I gained a lot of weight... almost all my weight back. On my surgery day I weighed 249. That was just 10 lbs below my highest weight. <br />
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Today I am 179, 70 lbs down from sleeve day and 80 lbs down from my highest weight. I am living a pretty normal life. However, I think I could maintain somewhere in the 175-180 range relatively easily. I am sure you have all heard the theories on "set weight". I am pretty sure I am at my set weight. I would like to lose 20 more lbs in the next year. That is so little compared to what I have already lost.. however, it is so much harder than it was earlier on.<br />
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I gained a good chunk of weight over the holidays and have been working hard to get it back off. I have really cleaned up my eating, but I did have a couple days where I lost my will and ate a cookie or two. I have been doing really great the last 5 days but I am still having cravings. I joined WW online to give me some guidance because I felt like I was getting in a rut. So far I like it. The funny thing about WW is that in the past (pre surgery) I never felt like it was enough food. I would fail because I was always hungry. Now with my sleeve it feels like just the right amount of food.<br />
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I can eat a lot compared to many other sleevers. I can eat 2 pieces of pizza. For lunch I eat a sandwich with lots of veggies, some meat, and cheese. I also eat a cup of raw veggies with that. I am satisfied when I am done but by no means is it too much food. I am hungry (for real hungry) every 3 hours. I eat something every 3 hours during the day. Usually it is fruit or veggies or a boiled egg. Even when I was first sleeved I could eat a cup of food without any issues. I was able to stay at about 800-1000 calories for the first 6 months. Now I need about 1200-1300 to make it through the day. My doctor is one who believes in eating many times a day and thinks I am right on target with my calories. However, I need to increase my movement a lot to get a good loss at this point. I also tend to fall off the wagon on the weekend.<br />
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Everyday I do choose between my love of food and my desire for weight loss... some days food wins. No matter what, my sleeve has given me the life I had wanted. I am comfortable in my body for the most part. I am healthy, active, and eating a pretty balanced diet. I could have never done that on my own.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-56474293410862147492014-01-09T11:16:00.001-08:002014-01-09T11:16:39.514-08:00Day 3 on the clean eatingDear God, shaking the sugar can be HARD! Yesterday I thought I might die. <br />
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I had 4 egg whites with green pepper and green onion and a banana for breakfast, almonds and an apple for a snack, an open face turkey sandwich on gluten free bread (which was surprisingly tasty) for lunch with some pineapple, and chicken, rice, and green beans for dinner. <br />
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I should have been satisfied, but my cravings were out of control and I was a crabby biatch.<br />
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Today, I am feeling better.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-3185004753646372632014-01-07T16:00:00.002-08:002014-01-07T16:00:45.274-08:00New Year, Same Me?Ugh, I am relieved that the holidays are over, but not relieved to go back to work. I really enjoyed having as much time off as I did. I was, however, ready to get back to a normal schedule. My husband is a teacher and we are getting his with some bad winter weather. He was supposed to go back to work on Monday but won't be going back until this Thursday. Even I had a snow day on Monday. So today is my official first post holiday day back to work (though I did work a few days in between). <br />
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The holidays were nice and we spent them with family. I enjoyed seeing everyone, and getting to spend an entire week with just my husband doing whatever we wanted. We sort of had a little staycation. With that staycation came careless eating and minimal physical activity. The only real exercise I got was when I was lifting my cocktail or wine glass to my mouth.<br />
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My goal was to maintain my weight, but I gained. I weighed myself this morning and was.... gasp... 181. That is like a 7 lb gain since October. Yikes. I spent my Monday snow day drinking and eating so I am hoping some of it is just bloat. <br />
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The good news is that I am back on track. I am doing the 3-1-2-1 diet for at least a week to get the sugar out of my system. There are pre set menus and I will be following them to the T! The premise is that you eat clean, and it is very clean.. only lean proteins, complex carbs, fruits and veggies, no dairy (other than yogurt) and no corn or white starches. No soda or coffee... dear god. Anyway... the "clean" eating is for 3 days, then you have 1 cheat day (though cheat is relative and very limited) and then 2 more clean days and then another cheat. I saw the book at work and really liked the menus. I figured there was no harm in giving it a try.<br />
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Today I ate: a pretty gross smoothie for breakfast (1 c unsweetened almond milk, 1/2 c unsweetened frozen berries, handful of spinach)<br />
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turkey breast with quinoa and steamed green beans<br />
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apple, almonds<br />
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chicken, celery, onions and olive oil mixed and wrapped in lettuce leaves and another 1/2 c of quinoa<br />
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water<br />
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I feel technically satisfied but I want to punch people because I am detoxing. <br />
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I looked back to where I was at this time last year. I don't actually have my weight documented but I was getting ready for my sleeve surgery and had gained a bunch of weight after having my band removed. I believe I was 246 lbs on surgery day. That was 14 lbs from my pre-band weight. So, all in all, I have kept off that 14 lbs and lost an additional 85 (from today's 181). That puts me at 79 down. I am happy, but I really want to keep going in a downward direction over the next year. If I am 20 lbs down by this time next year, I will be very happy. That would put my at 161. Here me now universe. I want to be 161 by 1/6/15 and I am going to make it happen.<br />
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Wow, that was long. Thanks for sticking with me!SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-77574891335944345142013-12-10T15:27:00.000-08:002013-12-10T15:27:01.576-08:00Everyone is MIA including myselfI haven't posted in such a long time. Maybe it is because I am busy. Maybe it is because I haven't lost a drop of weight and have only maintained. Or maybe, it is just because I haven't had much to say. <br />
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I had a nice Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas is quickly approaching. I started exercising hardcore for a couple weeks and then got really sick. I have been fighting off the sickness for the past 2.5 weeks. I have not be exercising at all. My eating hasn't been the greatest, but good enough not to gain. My plan is just to make it through the rest of the month without gaining and get back to losing in January. I have 4 holiday parties next week along. Despite not losing, I am happy with my current weight situation. The fact that I haven't gained while going to parties, eating cookies, and social drinking is a small miracle.<br />
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The best part about this "winter" though it isn't actually winter yet, is my new tall boots. They are not wide calf, they look amazing, and they even have some room to spare. I love it.<br />
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Happy Holiday season all!SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-91315502778057759922013-11-19T16:06:00.001-08:002013-11-19T16:06:30.385-08:00Coming to Terms with ExerciseI hate exercise. Maybe I just haven't found the right one, but I am pretty sure I hate it all. I am now realizing the farther down the road I get from my revision date the more I want to eat. This is normal, I am told. However, that means additional calories. I used to be able to get by on 1000 calories pretty easily. Now I am lucky to get by on 1200. On the weekends it is probably more like 1400. This means, to continue to lose weight I need to make up the difference. <br />
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My doctor has always told me that fitness is a vital part of success post op. He said that it is especially important the further out your are. He said he has never seen someone be successful long term without being active regularly. I hear this, and I ignore it.<br />
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I know I need to start moving. I have committed to working out 4 days a week every week. I have done it 2 days this week. I hate it. I want to cry. I want to punch people. It is not fun. This is my starting point and I committing. <br />
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When I was in my really successful losing faze with my Lap Band I was exercising almost everyday. I did it for months. I never skipped. I hated it then but it was just part of my life. I guess I need to get to that point again.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-86175574395983643422013-11-08T06:31:00.002-08:002013-11-08T06:31:52.862-08:00Missing: My MotivationLet me start by saying I have gained a couple pounds. My birthday was the end of October and I haven't been back on track since. I just can't find my motivation.<br />
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It is so much easier to have a social life when you can just pick up and go out to eat and not worry about only eating what you planned for lunch. Having a glass or two of wine each night is so relaxing. And... I have so enjoyed not obsessing about food.<br />
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However, it is time to get back to work. I need to shed the pounds I put back on and try to get a few more off. Part of my problem is that I have gotten to a weight where I sort of like my body and like the way my clothes fit. I think I look pretty good. Sure, I would love to lose another 35 lbs... even 10 or 20. But that means I really have to work for it. I remember this feeling when I had my band. I got to roughly this same weight and thought, "I could just work at staying right here". Of course, I still have days where I think I am disgusting and fat and hate myself and then I just feel bad for ever being okay with my current weight. <br />
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Ugh, this whole weight loss this is such a head game. SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-413525057686678492013-10-17T12:28:00.000-07:002013-10-17T12:28:00.757-07:00NormalWe had a staff training on Monday and there were lots of pictures taken. I was looking through them today and all the pictures of me were okay. I looked normal. I didn't look fat or uncomfortable. I wasn't avoiding the camera, and I wasn't stressed about seeing the pictures.. but I was still pleasantly surprised when I saw myself. I look normal.<br />
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SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-7645605924485158082013-10-11T06:30:00.001-07:002013-10-11T06:30:16.045-07:00Nearing Month 9I am coming up on my 9 month sleeve post-op-aversary. I had another good loss this week. I am down another 2 lbs. I am down 72 lbs in nine months, and 85 from my highest pre-band weight. That is an average of 8 lbs per month. This last month I have lost 6 lbs and I am thrilled with that! I also hit another exciting milestone today. My BMI is officially under 30 and I am no longer obese and am just plain old overweight. In the next 3 months I would love to lose another 10 lbs. That should be doable, and would bring me 5 lbs from my goal. <br />
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I am so happy with my sleeve and the freedom it allows me. I am so pleased with the life I am leading. I still have days where I get so frustrated and realize how hard weight loss really is, but I think I am understanding how my body works (for now). <br />
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Happy weekend!SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-28231612468655567142013-09-27T06:30:00.001-07:002013-09-27T06:30:52.606-07:00Weigh in/ fat bitch<br />
First of all, I had an amazing week for weight loss. I weighed in this morning at 176. That is a <span style="background-color: #ffe599;">3 lb</span> loss!! I am not sure what I did to make this magic happen, but I am thrilled! I am only a couple pounds away from a BMI under 30... which will mean overweight and not obese. That is extremely exciting. I am also creeping closer to my goal. I thought it was time to add a photo, so I took one this morning. My face looks a little odd but it is hard to concentrate on taking a photo and smiling at the same time. This isn't the most flattering dress in the world but I really like it.<br />
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On to the fat bitch portion of this post. Last night at work a teenage boy called me a fucking fat bitch. It was a strange experience because it made me feel, just for a moment, the way I felt in middle school and high school. I wasn't even very fat... I was 164 lbs in high school. Now a little over 10 lbs heavier, it was kind of terrible... for a minute. And then I realized that I am pretty okay with my body, and he was a stupid teenage boy looking to hit me where it hurt. The part that bothered me the most is that he said this in front of a teenage girl who was with him. I hate that this is the go to for hurtful comments. I hate that she heard that and probably starting thinking negatively about her body. Anyway, I am going to clarify. I am not a fat bitch. I am a bitch who has lost over 80 lbs and is strong and healthy.<br />
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SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-5475090902237894192013-09-21T07:58:00.001-07:002013-09-21T07:58:16.700-07:00Update/Weigh-InWohoo! Sitting at 179 lbs!! Down 1 lb this week! Out of the 180's and a solid 80 lbs down from my highest. Now just to keep the losses coming. I would like to be at the 100 lb down mark by my 1 year. That means 20 lbs in just a little less than 4 months. That should be doable... but there are A LOT of holidays between now and then! <br />
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Happy weekend.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-96355066398678107.post-6121684521256856712013-09-13T10:29:00.001-07:002013-09-13T10:29:04.670-07:00Update/Weigh- In/UghGot up this morning, stepped on the scale and expected big things. Got a 1 lb loss. This would have been fine for me if I hadn't spent the last week working my ass off and eating a perfectly glycemic friendly low cal diet. I seriously thought I would at least drop a couple pounds... but no, just one. I get it... It will show up, I can feel it in my clothes. But damn-it! I wanted to see it on the scale. It doesn't help that I am 1 lb away from the 170's and I am so over the 180's. O well, I will just keep plugging away.<br />
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It finally feels like fall here in Michigan. I love fall. It is my favorite season of the year. I broke out a new sweater just to celebrate. Now, I just have to stay away from the cider mills with their amazing pumpkin donuts!<br />
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Happy Friday.SuperMegaAnnahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12739881261246898168noreply@blogger.com3