Sick, and the count down to my first fill

Yesterday I called in sick. I actually left work an hour early on Monday with a really sore throat. I figured I was just tired and would feel better by morning. Well when yesterday morning rolled around I did not feel better, I felt much much worse. So, I sucked it up and saw my doctor. I have an ear infection and was given some good antibiotics. I feel better today but still have a sore throat. Funny thing is, my ear never really hurt.

When I get sick I always want McDonald's. Those salty fries feel so good on my sore throat. I did not give in, and instead ate healthy and felt good about it. I even cooked myself lunch so I didn't settle for something less filling.

I have also officially gone down a size in my True Fit jeans. I have the same trouser jeans is 3, 4, and 5 red. I bought them as I was getting fatter, not as I was losing weight. Well, I started out in a tight 5 and am now in the 4s. They are still snug but the 5 was just ridiculous and huge. I haven't changed sizes in anything else yet, but this is still exciting.

I have six days until my first fill. I can't wait. I also get to start incorporating grain products on October 28th. I am feeling limited with my food right now and am looking forward to a change.

Happy Hump Day!

Weekend Report (AKA Weekend Confession)

I had a really great weekend. It was so much fun and I enjoyed spending time with my husband and my friends. I also enjoyed the eating part a little too much. Friday night my husband and I went bowling, we haven't been bowling in forever and it felt like a fun little high school date. He got a few beers and I considered getting a glass of wine but felt like I could do with out... and seriously.. who drinks wine at a bowling alley!

Saturday I worked and Jason (my husband) and I had planned to go out to dinner. I had already had some ideas where I wanted to go and had looked at menus so I could feel confident about my dinner. Well as soon as I got to work my friend Kim asked me to go to lunch with her. Of course I said yes and she let me pick due to my dietary restrictions. I ended up getting a small bowl of white chicken and bean chili.

Right before I left work my husband called and said we had been invited to go out to dinner with another couple. We decided on middle eastern food. So... I had good intentions, but when we actually got to the restaurant all those intentions fell to the wayside. My husband and I shared a meal. We ordered chicken kabobs with grilled veggies and a side of hummus. It also came with lentil soup, my favorite! I ate the lentil soup, then ate chicken drowning in hummus and garlic sauce and a bunch of veggies dipped in hummus and garlic sauce. In reality, this is good healthy food. There is some olive oil involved but chicken and hummus and lentils and veggies are good stuff. I just ate too much. I am not really sure how much... I am guessing a couple cups all together. I felt slightly guilty about this but got over it.
Friday I had worked out a lot and planned to do a good hard run on Sunday as well.

Sunday I slept in until almost 10 am. It was amazing. It felt so good. I got out of bed, got on my workout clothes, and hit the treadmill. I jogged for about 30 minutes and decided to follow it up with some kick boxing. I felt good about this and ate a really healthy practical lunch. My husband is a teacher and had lots of planning to do for the week so he was busy all day. I didn't feel like cooking, I cook every night, and we needed some groceries. I suggested we go to Plum Market ( a smaller cuter Whole Foods) and pick something up. Well, they have the most amazing hot bar. It is HUGE. I had been craving Indian food and they had a whole delicious section of the hot bar dedicated to Indian fare. So I picked up the little take-out box and put in a scoop of two different kinds of chicken, a chick pea dish, and couple small potatoes and carrots. It tasted incredible.

I don't really think I ate that bad, it is just the fact that I don't know how bad. Plus this Saturday we have a party. A group of couples and us do this monthly dinner party taking turns hosting. I know it will be amazing food and drink. Guess I will just have to exercise some more!

The weekend is always scary

I love the weekend, but I also dread the weekend. I feel like my eating is a little more out of control on the weekends because we go out to eat, have dinner with friends, or are just too busy to eat at home.

I am working today so I packed myself a good healthy meal for lunch. This always makes me feel better. Well, I got to work and one of my very good friends and co-worker asked me to go to lunch. My biggest issue with the Lap Band was that I wanted to maintain a normal life and not avoid social situations like I used to when I was on diets. I know that is not healthy and not sustainable. So, of course, I said yes. She told me I could pick the place since I still have dietary restrictions.

I picked a place, looked at the menu online, and decided on what I am going to eat. The problem is is that there are lots of really appealing things on the menu that I would love to eat but those would not be the best choices. I hope I can just stand firm on my food choice (white chicken bean chili).

Second problem is that my husband and I are going out to eat with another couple tonight. That means two meals out in one day. I may also drink. I can say that I won't but it all depends on how I am feeling at that time. I may want to indulge a bit. I have not indulged at all since my surgery (going on six weeks) and I want to live a little. Of course this is a dangerous path to walk. I don't want to get carried away, but I do want to live a little.

TGIF

I love Friday, especially when I don't work (like today). I have a doctors appointment this morning at 9:30 so I wanted to get my workout in before that. Anyway, today is weight in day and I am down another 2.8 lbs. I have also made it to my first 10%. So, now I am down a total of 27.4. My next goal is to get down to 225 lbs by my birthday on October 29th. That means I need to lose to 6.6 lbs get there.

Happy Friday all!

Mopey today

So, last March I had surgery to have a pilonial cyst excised. Let me tell you... this was by far the most miserable and painful thing I have ever experienced. The procedure was about 4 hours long and it left me with an open wound 4 inches deep and 6 inches long. Did I mention that pilonidal cysts are right around your tailbone? So, for the past 8 months my husband has had to pack this open wound with damp gauze. In the beginning it took an entire roll stuffed in the open wound. Over time the wound got smaller and smaller, however, I had it reopened a few times because it was not healing correctly.

I was off work for six weeks and had a visiting nurse for two months. It was terrible. However, living with the cyst wasn't possible either. It would continually abscess, I would spike high fevers and get very ill. The cyst grew little "roots" through out my skin and was getting bigger and bigger.

Today I went it for my last follow-up with my surgeon. It is entirely closed but still continues to be pretty painful. I had talked to her about this earlier on in the healing process and she explained that this was due to all the sensitive new tissue and new nerves growing in. So, I figured no big deal. Well when I saw her today she explained that there was a new problem and the reason I am in so much pain is because of the way the wound healed.

Unfortunately my new tissue connected, in parts, the entire with of the wound without leaving a "butt crack". Now every time I sit those bands of tissue stretch and pull and it is very painful. She said there is nothing I can do now and that it just needs to stretch and settle but that I will need reconstructive surgery 2-3 years down the road.

This makes me very sad. I just wanted to be done with this, the pain to end, and to never have to have ass surgery again. Grrr...

Tomorrow I see my PCP just for a general post- Lap Band follow up. Hopefully she doesn't have anything crappy to tell me.

Counting down the days

I am counting down the days until my first fill. It is 13 days, or one week from next Tuesday. Even though I don't expect good restriction from my first fill, I still want to get started. I could eat anything I want right now in pretty much any amount. I haven't really tried to push my limits but I know my weight loss right now is solely based on self control.

My surgeon is very conservative (which I love) so my first fill will be 7 weeks post op. I have decided that I want to be one of those liberally restricted people. I want to be able to eat anything in small amounts. I do not want to feel as though there are some things I just can't eat. I also want to be able to eat "food" before noon.

I guess I can wait a couple more weeks. I will just have to work to stay on the straight and narrow!

Six Years Ago

A little over six years ago I got married. I just happened to pick up my wedding album today and look at some pictures. The day I got married I weighed 155lbs. Today I weigh somewhere around 236lbs. It wasn't easy for me to get to 155. I remember starting weight watchers at 186lbs (a weight I would kill for today). I struggled with my hunger and desire to eat but pushed through and made it down to 138lbs, as I tried to maintain I slowly creeped back up. I was happy with my weight on my wedding day. I think I look healthy and happy.

155 didn't stay around long. I slowly creaped back up to 186, then on to 195. I stayed around that for a while but was always on some diet. Now all I want is to be healthy and maintain a good weight. Ideally I would like to be 135, a weight I haven't been since I was 16, and I was only there for a very brief time. I am 5'4" and can hold a little more weight, but I would also like some wiggle room. I would like to be +5/-5 within 135, but if I never make it past 155, I would be happy.