Therapy Session

Today I went to my weekly therapy session. I love these sessions. I really like my therapist and I feel like I really make great strides each visit. I feel like really getting to know myself is what is making the difference this time. I obviously have very strong feelings about food and there are reasons behind those feelings.

I am learning to cope with my new lifestyle and to treat myself with the respect I deserve. The largest challenge is learning to forgive myself for not being perfect. I need to still be able to be me and be healthy and moderate. I am impulsive and passionate by nature so tempering these wild sides takes work, and I don't want to deny them completely. My therapist has helped me to understand that there was never anything wrong with "me". Th problem only lies in how I handle my feelings.


Anyway... all is well... tomorrow is weigh in. Still no news on my fill appointment (grumble).

Today I am exactly 7 weeks post-op and still no fill

I haven't heard back from the doctor's office yet about the date for my fluoro fill. I am annoyed. I was looking forward to this fill to refill my fear/motivation meter. I know I probably won't have any more restriction but that still doesn't mean I won't have serious fear of getting stuck and pbing. That keeps me on track perfectly for at least a few weeks.

I did get up this morning at 6 am to work out before work. It felt so good to get it over with before work instead of having to think about doing it after work. It was 45 minutes of step aerobics and I had a giant sweat ring around my neck when I was done. I will probably take the dog for a nice long walk when I get home because the weather is amazing here today.

My fill= zero fill

So I went in for my first fill today. The whole experience was a bit rough. My appointment was at 9:45 but the doctor had a last minute schedule change and was going to be out of town this Friday so he double booked today. I didn't get in the exam room until 11. Then he attempted to fill me not once, not twice, but three times with no luck. It was sort of painful but mostly disappointing because I need to get started with these fills.

He was very apologetic and it was fine but now I have to wait for the nurse to call me and reschedule at the hospital so it can be done under fluro. I had to go straight to work after my appointment so I brought my lunch with me this morning. Of course I was planning on liquids so that is what I brought. Since there was no fill there was no need for liquids. So I stopped at the store and scrounged together some stuff for lunch. Blah.... an overall sucky appointment.

The weekend is over, now back to the grind

First I am starting off with a picture of Ike our wonderful Pit Bull/Boxer. He is the perfect start to a Monday!

Mondays are always a very busy day for me at work. It is good because I don't have any time to sit around and think about eating. Lately I am starving. My zero restriction is really getting to me. I am SO excited to go in for my first fill tomorrow!

In other news, it looks like it is going to be a very beautiful fall day here in Michigan. I will be sure to get out and give the dog a nice long walk again today. We took him for a couple miles yesterday but he gets tired and wants to lay down. I understand how he feels! Apparently Pit Bulls are not made for distance but for strength.

Lastly, I am really pushing to make my next goal of 225 by 10/29. I fear I may not do it! That is only one week from Thursday. I plan to give it my all though.

I drank and entire bottle of wine

and I enjoyed it. I also had homemade mac n' cheese, a little turkey burger, sweet potato soup, banana bread, and chocolate cake. Though all these things I had in very small amounts. This was the first "bad" indulge I have had since my banding. But you know what, I don't even feel bad about it. I walked five miles yesterday and took a kick boxing class today. I am back at it whole hog today. I had a really great time with my friends and I have zero guilt because this is my life, not a diet. How liberating!

Goodbye Forever 230's

I weighed myself this morning and have hit the 30 lb down mark. I lost 2.4 lbs this week! I am so excited to be 229 and no longer in the 230's!! Woohoo!! Can't wait to be in the 210's!

Happy Friday!

Vitamin Water 10 XXX is my new lover

I freak'n love Vitamin Water 10 XXX. It tastes SOOOOOOOO good. If you drink the entire bottle it is 25 calories but o so worth it. I try to limit myself to one per day but man... I love that stuff. I am working until 9 tonight and on the reference desk working with the public until close so I needed something to keep me awake and motivated, the XXX will do the trick.

Today I had my weekly visit with the therapist. I live him very much. He really appreciates where I am coming from and makes me feel like all my feelings are important. I always feel better when I leave there. So, I was feeling good when I left and decided I would go to Whole Foods on my way home and pick up some groceries. I decided I would get a rotisserie chicken and pull it all apart so I could eat it for lunch and dinner and the same the next day.

When I got home I pulled it apart, measured it out into servings and put it in the fridge. I had a couple hours before work and wanted to get in at least a half an hour work-out in. By the time I had worked out, showered, and gotten dressed for work I was running late. I needed to eat lunch so I pulled out a serving of chicken and started eating it. I haven't had any issues at all with not chewing well enough or anything else really.... until today's chicken. I was eating fast, not chewing well, and the chicken wasn't "wet" enough. I had three of four bites and then STUCK. It hurt so bad. It didn't take too long to pass (maybe 20 minutes) but oww the misery. I decided to add some gravy to the rest of my chicken and take it for dinner. I ate a Greek yogurt and some cheese once I got to work and all was fine.

Lesson learned, chew and take my time.