Just surviving!!

I am having such a hard time with the lack of restriction. I have lost all of it... not even drop of it left. I am hungry and eating tons. Blah... can't wait to get a fill again. I am waiting for my doctor to call me about my gallbladder.. as I said before.. I am hoping to wait a few months before having surgery. I want to get my restriction back and have a great summer while I am preparing for surgery.. again.

Happy Sunday all!

Abdominal Ultrasound

Had my abdominal ultrasound today and.... my gallbladder is full of stones. Not good... I am hoping to hold off on surgery until September but I am pretty sure that isn't going to happen. I have an appointment with my doctor next week to talk about it. So it seems like so many banders have had gallbladder problems... add me to the ranks!

Boo... o well... that thing has to weigh at least a few ounces right?

It is possible I may eat my arm...

because I am starving!! This fill is certainly not doing it for me! I need WAY more restriction! I have been working really hard to count my calories and stay on track during this time of limited restriction. It is working for me... sort of. I am debating if I should call and make an appointment with my doctor for next week or if I should wait a couple weeks. I know he wanted me to be patient.. but he didn't give me any time line and I am hungry!

I am thinking I am going to call and see what I can get in to the office... it will probably be a couple weeks before I can get an appointment anyway. I am feeling good otherwise, and am not having any problems with eating. Tomorrow morning is my ultrasound... I can hardly wait.

In other news, my sister and her mass of children (3) are coming to visit this weekend. I am going to be so tired by Sunday evening! But... we do have a good time and I enjoy seeing her family.

I desperately need a vacation!

Upper GI, Dr. Katz, and Tuesday Tuesday

So I had an upper GI this morning at 8 am. My doctor is about an hour away and with morning work traffic I had to get up EARLY. I was so tired by the time I got there. Dr. Katz checked everything out and said my band looked just right. He decided he would give me 4 cc's, I had 5.5 cc's when I had great restriction.

I really wanted 4.5 so he decided to fill me under flouro. At 4 cc's I couldn't even get the barium down! How is this possible?! He said restriction is so strange and sometimes it takes time for the saline to settle in. I ended up with 3 cc's and all seems fine. I had some yogurt and cottage cheese today and didn't have any issues. I am staying full (I had it at about 10 am and am still feeling satisfied). I am sure in a couple weeks I will be begging for another fill. I am just glad everything looked okay and I am willing to go slow if that means the band is safe and sound.

I have my abdominal ultrasound on Thursday to check out the gallbladder. I doubt that is an issue because I haven't had any problems since the unfill. I am however, willing to do anything to make sure I am good to go and can continue to get fills and lose weight.

In other news... a whole lot of nothing. The weather has been really nice here and I have been working in my gardens. I am already harvesting some of my veggies. Yumm-o!

Hope all of your are doing well!

Updated my ticker... blah!

So, I finally sucked it up and updated my ticker. I am up 2.something lbs. Honestly, I am really happy that is all I gained. If I can keep it at that until I get my fill I am good. I have been trying to be very careful about the choices I make but it hasn't been easy.

My husband is a teacher and we have been going to tons of graduation parties.. in fact we have another tonight. I am working both today and tomorrow so that should keep my eating reasonably under control because I am so busy. Only 3 more days until my upper GI. I have been feeling fine so I am guessing I am going to be good to go on the fill. At least I am praying I am good to go!

No real other updates to post. Hope you all are having a fantastic weekend!

June 8th?!

Okay, so the doctor's office called me back today to let me know that my appointment for my upper GI will be at 8 am on June 8th! June 8th!!! That is a week away. I know really... a week isn't THAT long to wait. But it so is... I am struggling here. I had hoped I could get in before the end of the week.. but of course.. no go.

I am hungry all the time. It isn't head hunger... it isn't emotional eating. I am hungry. I know I am eating things I wasn't eating before.... because I can. I have had lots of bread and know I need to cut back on that again. I am so scared I am going to get off track and will have to do all this backpedaling once I have restriction again.

When I was going through the first 6 months of bandster hell I had lots of motivation and that helped to keep me on track. Now that I am almost 9 months into my weight loss, it is so much harder to find motivation inside myself.

I know all I need to do is go back to the "band rules" and in theory I should be good to go. But I feel so out of control. It is amazing to me that after all the weight loss, after being so happy about the progress I have made, that I can still let food have such a hold on me.

I have a plan.. but now I need to follow it. Seven days... I can do anything for seven days right?!

OMG...

Life is really hard with a full unfill! I don't remember how I did it before... ugh! I am hungry!