Catching Up

I had a very busy weekend, my parents were in town and we celebrated my birthday (for three days straight). I did a lot of eating, not always good choices, but hey... my birthday only comes once a year. I am now trying to get myself back on the straight and narrow so that I can have a few good weeks before Thanksgiving eating comes about.

I still haven't weighed myself, but from the way my clothes fit, I would say I am staying right about the same... with maybe a few pounds gained from the weekend. I am not planning on weighing myself again until November 16th and I hope to see at least a small positive change by then.

I have had a really weird change in restriction. I have loosened up considerably and made an appointment for a fill. However, I am sort of liking the fact that I was able to eat 1/2 piece of whole wheat toast and an egg for breakfast (which has stayed with my since I ate it at 9 this morning, no lunch yet). I feel like sometimes I get so tight I am limiting good foods out. Of course when I have less restriction I must use more self control to make good decisions. I purposely scheduled my fill a couple weeks out.. the 18th... so that I could decide what I really wanted.

That is pretty much all I have to report! Hope you are all great, I am going to get to reading the blogs now!

Size 12!

I found this really great size 12 dress in my closet I bought a couple years ago as a goal dress for one of my failed diet attempts. I put it on today and it is perfect. Sorry about the blurry picture... my battery died mid photo shoot!

My birthday is tomorrow

and I am trying to wrap my mind about a new way of thinking. I haven't been blogging much, or even reading blogs because I am really trying to focus on myself. I am confused about my feelings about this whole weight loss experience. I love my band... love that I have lost nearly 90 lbs, and feel amazing. However, I just don't know if this was what I thought it would be. As I had said in a previous post I am seeing a therapist again. I really like here and feel like I had a major "ahah" moment this week.

I think I am going to take a break from the numbers, take a break from the scale and just live my life. I spend so much time counting calories, obsessing about what I am going to eat, and just not trusting myself. It is time for me to learn how to trust myself, rely on myself. So my goal is to try not to weigh myself for two weeks. I am going to just do what feels right and see how that works. I am going to just be me.

I hope you are all doing well! Have a great end of the week.

Friday Weigh In

Down 1.2 lbs. I had a less than banner eating week so I am happy. Now to get below 170 by next week... I can lose 1.8 lbs in a week right?! I think so!

Happy Friday!

Protein

I read a post about Protein on *I think* Dreams of Skinny High Heels blog. She was talking about how she got 100+ grams of protein a day. I also try to get about 100 or grams a day. I feel like I lose much better when I am getting more protein. So, I thought I would tell you all about my favorite little protein supplement. Protidiet, it is a drink mix with 70 calories and 15 grams of protein. It is sort of like a gel you mix into water and it tastes pretty good. I have tried most of the flavors but my favorite is orange. I usually drink 1 or 2 of these a day (I am actually drinking a mango peach one as I type) to get me to where I need to be with my protein. Now that I have good restriction I really can't eat before noon. This is the way I get my morning meal in and it sort of tastes like crystal light. I buy mine from mydietshopz.com.

Why?

Why do I always take one bite too many?! For the love of God... I need to learn to stop when I am ahead. Now I have that horrid upper back pain again. Grr...

If you don't have anything good to say...

I really haven't been a banner blogger lately. I am not sure why. I think mostly because I just don't feel like I have anything great or exciting to say. I have been par for the course with my band lately. Though I did some not so awesome eating over the weekend, I am pretty much on track.

I did see my therapist today and really feel like I could make some great progress with her. She is in my face just enough to push my limits (which is just what I need). I am scared to go back because I think she is going to push my limits and there are lots of feelings I have been avoiding.

In other news, my birthday is just a little over a week. The last year of my 20's!