Doctor + fill= ?

Yesterday I saw my surgeon again. He wanted to do a fluroscopy and check out the band. Again, he said everything looks perfect. However... things are not perfect. I have gained about 10 lbs. Not good.... I have been feeling angry towards my band and I have been busy self sabotaging. He gave me a 1.5 cc fill and I can tell a huge difference. He actually started out with 5 cc (I was totally empty) and the barium came flying out like a bullet out of high powered riffle.

This is all so strange because I had 7.5 at one point and was at my sweet spot. The doctor claims this is not unusual and that peoples fill tolerance can change over time. I am feeling better about things and am ready to get on the losing end of things again. I have only been able to eat small amounts, about a cup at a time, and I am staying fuller longer. The best part about the band is that is always offers you an opportunity to start over. So here it is... my do over.

Still alive...still sticking

My band is driving me insane. Some days I have no restriction and other days I am stuck on weird food. My band is still entirely empty, still apparently in perfect location with zero issue and continues to make me crazy.

I haven't really lost anything more weight... though I really need to.. I am struggling to just figure the basics out. I am frustrated and tired of this. I am also really busy with life in general. I have been spending lots of time with friends and family. I just don't feel like blogging about my band lately, because I kind of hate it. Grr...

Take care all!

Adjusting and thinking...

I was thinking about a post Amy W wrote about motivation. I looked back at my weight loss ticker history today and realized I have been bouncing up and down the same 7 lbs for 5 months. I lose the weight, I gain the weight, I lose the weight, gain... on and on. I started thinking about why I can't just kick this weight for good. Granted, I have had lots of problems in the last few months. I have been frustrated and hungry and struggling.

I am adjusting to my current band situation and seem to be doing okay. I can certainly eat more things now, but I still have to be really cautious with lunch choices. I am telling myself I really rededicating to get the rest of my weight off, but I am having a hard time believing it is true. I have said that so many times over the past 5 months. Part of the issue is that I think I am just enjoying living my life. I am very social, always have plans, and am not nearly as thoughtful with calories. This is terrible for weight loss, but great for life. I am also relatively happy at my current weight. I know I am still technically over weight and I can see that, but this is the thinnest I have been in a long time.. and I feel normal.

So why is it I want to lose the weight? Well, I want to finish what I started, I want to be healthier, I want to succeed. And, of course, I want to wear smaller clothes and be more confident in the summer.

Happy hump day all!

The results are in...

I saw my doctor on Friday for an Upper GI. He didn't see anything wrong with my band. He decided to look back at my 4 previous (yes 4) films from past Upper GIs and said everything looks identical from my first film 6 weeks after I was banded. However, my band is not acting the same way it has in the past with zero fill. It is all very odd. I still have pretty good restriction, I wouldn't say sweet spot, but it is certainly there. I still couldn't eat a sandwich or anything on a bun, however, I can eat a piece of bread with dinner if I am careful.

He doesn't know why my band is acting this way, but he also doesn't want to do anything else right now. He said if I have any pain or more issues to contact his right away but that he thinks it is just best to leave it right now. He said if I get to a point where I want a fill he will only do them under fluro from now on.

So... this is all a new challenge. Things that used to be difficult are no longer and things that were sliders are now sticking. I don't know what to think, but I am going to try to work with this and see if it is just stress or my own issues.

Update

I am having my Upper GI Friday at 8 am. Hopefully I will have an answer by 8:30 am Friday. In other news, I am wearing neon yellow tights today and I love them.

Take care!

Still waiting and puking

I called the doctor's office again this morning to follow- up on the upper GI. The woman I talked to told me she would call me right back. That was 3 hours ago. I am continueing to have trouble keeping mushies and solids down... liquids aren't a problem. I don't feel like it is an emergency but I do want to get the ball rolling.

If I don't hear back today I am going to call my Dr on his cell. My weight is still going down, but it is slow. I have a pretty carb heavy diet because I am only eating soft foods. I am just happy I am not gaining at this point. The weather is finally getting really nice here in Michigan and I am enjoying outdoor activities more and more.

Take care all!

Thanks for the Love

Thanks for all the great and supportive comments on my bad band post. I truly treasure my followers!!