I got a fill

I got a 1 cc fill today. As usual, I can't really see much difference yet, but my fills take about 2 weeks to fully kick in. I was down a couple pounds this morning. I have been working for that couple pounds. I am trying to recreate some of my "early success" menus that had the pounds falling off in the first year of my band. I think one of my biggest problems is my lack of fear. I no longer fear a stuck or pb situation. I try things I should probably avoid just to challenge my band. This probably goes with my whole authoritative issues. I have always been one for challenging the limits.

It is almost the weekend! Yeah for weekends.

33 lbs to go...

I have 33 lbs to lose to get to my goal. I would like to get to my goal by August of next year. That shouldn't be too hard right?! Yeah, right. Being that last year I pretty much lost nothingish. I am going for a fill tomorrow and hope some restriction is in my near future. Lately, it seems this has been a tricky thing. I am too tight or have very little restriction. I am having a hard time finding that happy medium.

I have no given up though. The most pleasing part of the band is that you can always start over and start working it. We all know half the battle is making the right choices, and that is something I only do some of the time. I have big plans for a big tattoo when I hit goal. I would think that would motivate me more.

Happy hump day!

2 years banded, and an update

I just recently passed my 2 year bandiversary (on September 2nd) and though it wasn't particularly spectacular, I still have some thoughts about that. First of all, this year has by far been much harder then the first. Mostly because I had lots of issues with my band, spent a good chunk of the year unfilled or partially filled, and am sitting about 10 lbs heavier then I was at this time last year.

With that said, I am still pretty pleased with my decision to have my band. I don't remember any other time in my life where I have kept off this amount of weight for this amount of time. I also think this 3rd year will be a charm. I am going in on Friday to get another fill that will hopefully get me near my sweet spot. I am looking forward to being on the losing end of the band game again.

This process hasn't been easy for me... but I still feel it has been a great success. I have overcome many challenges in the last couple years and plan to only continue on that path. My weight will always be a challenge, and food will always sing it's dirty little siren song. Now, I just have a little extra help in my back pocket. So.. here's to another even better banded year!

In other news, I had to cancel on BOOBS. My husband is a teacher, and in MI we are dealing with some really crappy contract situations. We are not certain what his final contract will look like, but it isn't looking very good. I am too nervous to spend money right now and this trip is just out of my reach at this time. I am sure those of you going will have a fantastic time and I wish I could be there!

Fill... Finally!

I didn't have a fill scheduled until September 1st, and I have been pretty much empty since early May. So, in an act of desperation I called my doctor this morning and begged him to squeeze me in. He did and I got a 4 cc fill bringing me up to 5.5 ccs. I drank some water and left his office happy I finally had restriction. About a half an hour later that water started coming back up. I called my doctor in a panic and had to go get an unfill via a different doctor in his office. I had 2 ccs taken out, they had suggested 1 but I was panicked after puking up water and acid. So now I am sitting pretty with 3.5 ccs. Liquids seem to be going down fine and I have had a couple crackers. I kept my September 1st appointment and I am sure I will need another fill by then.

Anyway, I am so glad to be getting back some sort of restriction and hope to get back on track ASAP.

BOOBS

I am going to BOOBS!!!!!!!!!

Same song different day..

So, I have been on and off the wagon lately. There is no question that I need a fill. My new norm has been a giant salad (4 cups lettuce, .5 cup chicken, and a bunch of other veg). I, however, am not able to get in for a fill until September 1st. I am about 15 lbs up from my very lowest low that I saw for a blink. My band has been empty, or nearly empty, for about 4 months now. Honestly, I am pleased I haven't gained more weight. I am hungry all the time! I am working to make good decision. I would like to get that 15 lbs off by my next fill, though I doubt it will happen.

I forgot how hard it is when you are really hungry and just don't get full. We have also had some recent family drama. My husband's grandmother passed away last month. He was extremely close to her, doesn't have a relationship with his mom (grandma is mom's mom) which has continued to cause drama. We also inherited her two cats. We are now a family of 5 cats and 1 dog. Here is a picture of our two newest additions (Buddy in front and Butler on the next step up, you can also see Capone in the background looking the wrong way).

None of this stuff is a good excuse for a 15 lbs gain... and I would like to fit into my very smallest pants again. So... onward and downward (on the scale) I go!

Update... I am lame

So, I haven't had a whole lot to update lately. I still only have 1.5 cc in my band. I can eat anything and then sometimes nothing. It is frustrating, but I am pretty sure it is my lack of chewing. I am doing okay weight wise, however, I haven't really weighed myself in a while. I am dealing with the emotional side of weight loss/loving my body. When I don't know the number on the scale I can truly love my body. I can appreciate the strength and success. When I look at the scale I can be down or up. I am giving that a rest. My clothes all still fit, some are loose, so I think things are a-okay.

I have started being more careful about carbs though... I think they really dictate my hunger level and cravings so I am trying to be smarter about my food choices. I continue to read all your blogs, but I am just so busy at work right now. Barb, your new body, and swim suite look amazing by the way!

Take care all!