Band issues... again.

I went to see my doctor yesterday because I needed an unfill. This is the 3rd unfill I have had in 3 months. Everytime I go in and get some fluid out (last time it was 1 cc) it is fine for a couple weeks and then gets tight again. Yesterday the doc decided he was taking all the fluid and and scheduling an upper GI. I only had 4 ccs of fluid and at one time I was at my sweet spot with 7.5 cc. I think something is up with my band, maybe a slip, because I am totally empty and still have restriction. I actually threw up yesterday after eating eggs for lunch post unfill.

All this has me thinking, if I had to have surgery to have my band repositioned or removed what would I do? At this point I am begining to wonder if maybe the band just isn't for me. I am not feeling sad or depressed about it.. just realistic. I think I would probably just have my band removed. I don't know if I am willing to another weight loss surgery.

O well.. food for thought. Happy Friday all!

Forgive Me Bloggers, I have sinned

I have not blogged in a couple weeks (at least). I have had so much drama in my personal life that I just haven't been able to get myself to type about it. All this drama is mainly work related. My husband is a teacher... we are in Michigan... things are going to hell in a hand basket. He is great at what he does, and has been working at the same place for 11 years. He loves his job and is relatively decently paid. However, it looks like it is very possible he going to take a HUGE pay cut and possibly lose his union rights due to the changes in MI. We currently own a house that has depreciated in value every day since we moved in. We could not sell it if we wanted to.

I am a librarian in this failing state. It is very possible my job may not continue to exist or that I may become a part time employee or not have a job at all. This is all really scary. Both my husband and myself always thought we had relatively secure jobs... not job is secure anymore. We are trying not to dwell on the fact that our lives could change entirely and that we don't what our situation will be like next year. Oww... and we have the cost of a small home in students loans.

All this has pushed me back into bad habits of eating (and drinking adult drinks) to deal with my feelings. I have gained more weight.... and this week.. I decided I would not do this anymore. What I eat is one thing I can control and it is time to take responsibility. I am tired of being emotionally tired as well as physically tired and eating better will at least help. Anyway, I plan to get back to the blog again.

Hope you are all well.

What is my deal?

I am going through some "life stuff" right now and just don't have the energy to talk about it. I have gained 4 lbs... I am working with my therapist on "being kind to myself". That is my goal right now.. and to get back to the losing. Hope you are all well. I am still reading.