Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I am 31, that is all.

I turned 31 yesterday.  I had an excellent weekend with my husband, we went out of town to celebrate.  Today... I am in that dreaded, tired of waiting mood.  I had my psych eval yesterday (a good way to spend a birthday).  This is the second evaluation I have had (obviously one for the Lap Band and one now).  I saw a different doctor this time than I did the first and she was outraged that I have had to go through all this just for a revision.  I appreciate her anger at the system.. but I also getting tired of this reaction from doctors.  I feel like saying, "then do something about it."

I think I am pretty much set to go... other than finishing up my stupid "diet".  My last weigh in will be the first week of January.  Hopefully my surgery will be shortly after that.  My surgeon is eager to get this done.  So am I.  It seems like lately so many people on the blogs have been having their revisions.  I am jealous.  I am tired of waiting... tired of being out of breath and hating myself in my clothes.  I want to feel the way I did when I was having success with my Lap Band.  I was excited to get dressed, try new clothes on, and get out and do things.

I feel like all I do is whine about waiting... and I know a couple of months isn't very long.  I know I am lucky my insurance will even cover another surgery.  I try to remind myself that as much as possible.  However, right now, waiting sucks.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Un-Diet

I am in my forth month of my un-diet (my insurance required diet that I am not losing weight on).  I will be having my sleeve surgery in January and it can't come soon enough.  Fall and winter are going to be miserable because I don't have any cold weather clothes that fit.  My co-workers are seeing a lot of repeat outfits.  I need to make a trip to the thrift store.  I also hate being fat again.  I am trying not to, but I do.

I just got my packet from my insurance coordinator and I have to schedule my psych eval.  I can't believe I have to do all the BS again.  I am not bitter at all.  I also have to have my PCP write me a letter of support.  The last go-around, when I had my Lap-Band placed, was a nightmare.  My PCP refused to write the letter.  She made me jump through all these hoops and would never sign off on it.  My surgeon finally just gave the go-ahead without it.  This time around I have a different PCP, who is fantastic, and is very excited for my sleeve.  At least that is much easier this time.

My 31st Birthday is this month and I am hoping that my 32nd Birthday will be one of great weight loss success unlike this years big weight gain.