Because I have not been living the band dream, or doing what I am supposed to.. and as a result... I am up oww 30 lbs from my lowest. I have had a lot of trouble with my band lately (as in the last year). I have had multiple unfills and fills and vomit a lot and have repeated issues with heartburn and reflux. There is nothing wrong with my band (or so they say). I have started seeing the PA at my surgeons office and she feels it is because of the aggressive fills my surgeon does. She thinks I need to start over very slowly and work my way back to restriction.
I also know a big chunk of the problem is me. I get frustrated and force foods I shouldn't, don't take time to let my band recover.. don't do liquids when I should and so on. So... here we are again at the start over point. I am okay with that. I have spent the past six months really struggling with the loss of my husbands grandma, who was extremely important to both he and I. She was more like a mother to my husband and myself as well.
We have also been under a lot of financial stress... my husband is a teacher and it seems they are the current political target and are apparently way over paid... We have both taken pay cuts the past few years and as things get tighter I seem to let go in other parts of my life.
I don't think I have been hiding from my blog, but more so too lazy to really care. I am going to try to recommit to my blogging in hopes that is helps keep me motivated. I also wanted to keep it real here is band land. This is so not easy... even with this big help.