Everyone is MIA including myself

I haven't posted in such a long time.  Maybe it is because I am busy.  Maybe it is because I haven't lost a drop of weight and have only maintained.  Or maybe, it is just because I haven't had much to say. 

I had a nice Thanksgiving with my family and Christmas is quickly approaching.  I started exercising hardcore for a couple weeks and then got really sick.  I have been fighting off the sickness for the past 2.5 weeks.  I have not be exercising at all.  My eating hasn't been the greatest, but good enough not to gain.  My plan is just to make it through the rest of the month without gaining and get back to losing in January.  I have 4 holiday parties next week along.  Despite not losing, I am happy with my current weight situation.  The fact that I haven't gained while going to parties, eating cookies, and social drinking is a small miracle.

The best part about this "winter" though it isn't actually winter yet, is my new tall boots.  They are not wide calf, they look amazing, and they even have some room to spare.  I love it.

Happy Holiday season all!

Coming to Terms with Exercise

I hate exercise.  Maybe I just haven't found the right one, but I am pretty sure I hate it all.  I am now realizing the farther down the road I get from my revision date the more I want to eat.  This is normal, I am told.  However, that means additional calories.  I used to be able to get by on 1000 calories pretty easily.  Now I am lucky to get by on 1200.  On the weekends it is probably more like 1400.  This means, to continue to lose weight I need to make up the difference. 

My doctor has always told me that fitness is a vital part of success post op.  He said that it is especially important the further out your are.  He said he has never seen someone be successful long term without being active regularly.  I hear this, and I ignore it.

I know I need to start moving.  I have committed to working out 4 days a week every week.  I have done it 2 days this week.  I hate it.  I want to cry.  I want to punch people.  It is not fun.  This is my starting point and I committing. 

When I was in my really successful losing faze with my Lap Band I was exercising almost everyday.  I did it for months.  I never skipped.  I hated it then but it was just part of my life.  I guess I need to get to that point again.

Missing: My Motivation

Let me start by saying I have gained a couple pounds.  My birthday was the end of October and I haven't been back on track since.  I just can't find my motivation.

 It is so much easier to have a social life when you can just pick up and go out to eat and not worry about only eating what you planned for lunch.  Having a glass or two of wine each night is so relaxing.  And... I have so enjoyed not obsessing about food.

However, it is time to get back to work.  I need to shed the pounds I put back on and try to get a few more off.  Part of my problem is that I have gotten to a weight where I sort of like my body and like the way my clothes fit.  I think I look pretty good.  Sure, I would love to lose another 35 lbs... even 10 or 20.  But that means I really have to work for it.  I remember this feeling when I had my band.  I got to roughly this same weight and thought, "I could just work at staying right here".  Of course, I still have days where I think I am disgusting and fat and hate myself and then I just feel bad for ever being okay with my current weight. 

Ugh, this whole weight loss this is such a head game. 

Normal

We had a staff training on Monday and there were lots of pictures taken.  I was looking through them today and all the pictures of me were okay.  I looked normal.  I didn't look fat or uncomfortable.  I wasn't avoiding the camera, and I wasn't stressed about seeing the pictures.. but I was still pleasantly surprised when I saw myself.  I look normal.

Nearing Month 9

I am coming up on my 9 month sleeve post-op-aversary.  I had another good loss this week.  I am down another 2 lbs.  I am down 72 lbs in nine months, and 85 from my highest pre-band weight.  That is an average of 8 lbs per month.  This last month I have lost 6 lbs and I am thrilled with that!  I also hit another exciting milestone today.  My BMI is officially under 30 and I am no longer obese and am just plain old overweight.  In the next 3 months I would love to lose another 10 lbs.  That should be doable, and would bring me 5 lbs from my goal.

I am so happy with my sleeve and the freedom it allows me.  I am so pleased with the life I am leading.  I still have days where I get so frustrated and realize how hard weight loss really is, but I think I am understanding how my body works (for now).

Happy weekend!

Weigh in/ fat bitch

First of all, I had an amazing week for weight loss.  I weighed in this morning at 176.  That is a 3 lb loss!!  I am not sure what I did to make this magic happen, but I am thrilled!  I am only a couple pounds away from a BMI under 30... which will mean overweight and not obese.  That is extremely exciting.  I am also creeping closer to my goal.  I thought it was time to add a photo, so I took one this morning.  My face looks a little odd but it is hard to concentrate on taking a photo and smiling at the same time.  This isn't the most flattering dress in the world but I really like it.

On to the fat bitch portion of this post.  Last night at work a teenage boy called me a fucking fat bitch.  It was a strange experience because it made me feel, just for a moment, the way I felt in middle school and high school.  I wasn't even very fat... I was 164 lbs in high school.  Now a little over 10 lbs heavier, it was kind of terrible... for a minute.  And then I realized that I am pretty okay with my body, and he was a stupid teenage boy looking to hit me where it hurt.  The part that bothered me the most is that he said this in front of a teenage girl who was with him.  I hate that this is the go to for hurtful comments.  I hate that she heard that and probably starting thinking negatively about her body.  Anyway, I am going to clarify.  I am not a fat bitch.  I am a bitch who has lost over 80 lbs and is strong and healthy.

Update/Weigh-In

Wohoo!  Sitting at 179 lbs!!  Down 1 lb this week!  Out of the 180's and a solid 80 lbs down from my highest.  Now just to keep the losses coming.  I would like to be at the 100 lb down mark by my 1 year.  That means 20 lbs in just a little less than 4 months.  That should be doable... but there are A LOT of holidays between now and then!

Happy weekend.

Update/Weigh- In/Ugh

Got up this morning, stepped on the scale and expected big things.  Got a 1 lb loss.  This would have been fine for me if I hadn't spent the last week working my ass off and eating a perfectly glycemic friendly low cal diet.  I seriously thought I would at least drop a couple pounds... but no, just one.  I get it... It will show up, I can feel it in my clothes.  But damn-it!  I wanted to see it on the scale.  It doesn't help that I am 1 lb away from the 170's and I am so over the 180's.  O well, I will just keep plugging away.

It finally feels like fall here in Michigan.  I love fall.  It is my favorite season of the year.  I broke out a new sweater just to celebrate.  Now, I just have to stay away from the cider mills with their amazing pumpkin donuts!

Happy Friday.

Week 31 Update

Week 31 has come and gone.  I did lose the last pound I gained on vacation.  It took me about two weeks to gain the weight and about that long to get it back off.  I am lucky I was able to lose that last pound because last week was full of eating.

Our "go-to couple" took us out to eat at Michael Symon's Roast which is amazing and pretty darn pricey.  We have only been there a handful of times because my husband and I are cheap and have a hard time spending $250 on a meal for the two of us.  But let me tell you, everything on the menu is incredible.  I had "the beast of the day" tacos which just happened to be suckling pig.  I also had some mac n'cheese and some fried brussel sprouts which I always dream about.  I also sampled everyone elses food.  There was much wine and even some dessert.  It was a great night for a foodie like me.

It is my husband's birthday Thursday as well as our anniversary.  It feels like we have been celebrating with friends and family for the past week and will continue to celebrate this week.  I am working on keeping portions small and making the best of each meal (making healthy choices).  On Thursday when we go out for our anniversary/birthday dinner all bets will be off.  We are going to a fantastic seafood place and I am getting what I damn well please.  Tomorrow we have a giant work potluck and I plan on ignoring it.

My husband will be back at work full-time next week and I plan to get my eating strapped down then.  I am ready to start losing again and have some good motivation.  My husband is in a wedding the beginning of October and I would like to feel great in a new dress.  I am not putting a number on it... but I am going to do what I can between now and then.

Have a great week all!

Week 30/ 7 Month Update

There is good news and there is bad news this week.  The good news is that I lost 2 lbs of the weight I gained on vacation.  The bad news is that I didn't lose all the weight I gained.  The goodbad news is that I lost 3 lbs in the last month.  That is not very stellar at all, but it is still 3 lbs.  I would like to lose at least 4 lbs a month.

The summer is always a much harder time for me to lose weight.  People always say summer is ideal because there is fresh produce and you are outside more and blah blah blah.... but for me, it is a much more social time of year.  We travel, take vacations, attend parties, and just do more stuff.  This month is also my husbands birthday and our 10 year anniversary.  We aren't planning on doing anything big but there will be some special meals I refuse to deny myself.  My husband is a teacher and he is home in the summer... something happens when we aren't on a normal schedule.  We eat much less ideal.  So, he goes back to school the first week of September and that is when things are going to get real for me.  Don't get me wrong... I am going to try to stay on track and lose some weight in the next few weeks.. but I expect the serious work to begin in September.  I would like to be 175 by October 5th.  That seems like it should be doable.  That is roughly 8 lbs in 7 weeks.  But to actually get there I need to start kicking ass and taking names.

The other piece of good news... I am wearing an adorable dress today.  It is an xl and I am working it.  It makes me very happy.

Have a good weekend all!

Back from vacation/Family reunion

I am back to work after a 1.5 week vacation.  Vacation may not actually be the right way to put it.  We were at my parents place in the upper peninsula of MI.  They live on a beautiful lake and it looks like a vacation local.  However, we were there for a family reunion.  It was my mom's side of the family and there were about 60 people there.  Some of my cousins I haven't seen in 15 years.

I ended up doing a lot of prep, cooking, cleaning to help my parents get ready for the reunion.  My sister's family was also there and she has 3 kids so it was a little insane.  My temper gets very short when I am around chaos.  I am a little bit of a clean freak, and to put it nicely, my sister's family is not overly concerned with neatness.

Overall, we had a nice time.  I was happy to see my family, but I was more than ready to come back home.  I ate like shit... drank too much and came home with a 3 lb weight gain.  I am hoping now that I am back on track, it will be "fake weight" that won't stick around.

I know I said this not too long again, but I am going to say it again.  This weight loss thing is still really hard.  I hear so many of you talk about how you go on vacation and you come back with a weight loss... I have had 2 bariatric surgeries and have never had that experience.  Granted, I am not as committed this time around... I am going on 4 years out since my first surgery and I just don't have the same intensity I did in 2009.  I still love food, I still have to tell myself to make the right decision every day.  I make the right decision a good majority of the time and I know that makes me successful, but it will never be something I don't have to think about.

I come from a family where food is love and I enjoy eating.  I have been in therapy, talked about this in depth and am aware of my demons.  I know when I go home I am sucked right back into "eating rituals" and indulgences.  When I come back to my adult life I have to drag myself out and get back on track.  That may not be normal, but it is my life and I have to deal with it.  I am pretty good at it and often feel relieved to get back on a normal eating schedule.  At nearly 7 months our from my sleeve, I realize the rest of my life my weight battle may be easier.. but not easy.  I am still really looking forward to getting back into the 170's for the first time since my band.  I know I have to work a little harder now that I had this small gain... but I know I will eventually get there.

Week 28

I can not believe it is already August!  This summer has gone by way too fast.  I had a great week for weight loss and actually dropped 2 lbs this week.  I am 181 as of today and inching closer to the 170's.  I have been in the 180s for 7 weeks now.  It looks like it is taking me about 2 months to lose 10 lbs these days.  That is perfectly okay, I am happy as long as the scale is moving down.  I can't wait to be back in the overweight category and out of the obese.  I should be seeing that change soon as well.  I am down 78 lbs from my highest weight.

My clothes are really fitting differently these days and I have moved down a size in pants.  I fit very comfortably in a 14 and will soon be in 12.  It always takes me much longer to change sizes.  I feel good and strong and healthy.  I am proud of how far I have come.

My sister posted a link from a blog yesterday.  I am going to copy and paste it here.  I think this is really excellent advice.  I truly think my weight became a problem the first time I became aware of my body in a negative light.  My mom was often on a diet, talked about losing weight, and disliked her body.  She never talked about my body or gave me any fat shaming.  She was a great mother, but I joined weight watchers when I was a freshman in high school because I wanted to.  I wish she would have told me no.  I was 164 lbs.  At 5'4" I was over weight... but I looked healthy, was active and had a pretty normal relationship with food.... until I dieted.  Every diet I went on from that point on I would lose weight and then gain it all back plus more.  It became very dysfunctional and I began having a twisted relationship with food.  I am sure most of you can relate.  Anyway, I found this blog post really inspiring.  Though I don't have any kids of my own (and don't want any), I will be more aware when I am around other.  Grown women as well as girls.

How to talk to your daughter about her body

Date: July 29, 2013Author: skoppelkam Tags: Body image, Daughter, Parenting

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

Week 27

Looks like I  am only getting a 1 lb a week weight loss.  One more down this week, bringing me to 63 down in 27 weeks.  I am working today and have a busy day ahead but just wanted to pop in to update.  Have a nice weekend all!

Week 26/ 6 monthish update

Today is my 26th week weigh in.  I lost zero.  The funny thing about this is that this week was my most stellar week since my first month post op.  I ate perfectly on plan, exercised hardcore, and was on top of my water.  And, I lost nothing.  I am not really upset about it because I know my work will show up down the road and I feel really good about what I did.  I plan on sticking to it and seeing a drop next week. 

I also hit my 6 month post sleeve mark this week.  I am pleased with my 62 lb loss and my 61% excess weight lost in the past 6 months (66% excess weight lost since being banded).  I enjoy life so much more at this weight than I did when I was 259 lbs.. or even 200 lbs.  Every 5 or ten lbs lost makes such a big difference on my ability to do things... walk longer, run faster, climb higher, and just feel better.  I plan on hitting my short term goal of 160 lbs by my one year mark.  That would mean that I need to average 4 lbs a month for the next 6 months.  After I hit that goal I will revisit my long term final goal.  I know I should shoot for a healthy bmi, but that would 145 and I just don't look healthy at that weight.  Anyway, I will decide that later.

Have a good weekend all!

Stuff from my brain

It is hard to believe I am coming up on 4 years (September 2nd) since my first bariatric surgery.  It is even harder to believe I have had a second.  And even harder to believe than that is how much I still really struggle to eat well and stay on track.  We all know that weight loss surgery is just a tool, we hear it over and over.  I am aware of this.  But I also somehow believed it would be so much easier.  I had this fantasy that I would never be hungry again and that I would forget to eat.  I don't forget to eat.  Maybe in the beginning when I had a lot of swelling and could only eat thick liquids... but that was more because I didn't care to eat what I could eat.

I am very aware that a good part of my weight issue is food addiction.  Food addiction is so unfair because we can't just give it up.  Yes we can give up entire food groups, we can stop eating sugars and refined sugars and white flour and so on.  However, I still have this desire to live a somewhat normal life.  I don't want to stop eating sugar for the rest of my life.  Maybe this is where I lie to myself and say, "in moderation".  But I really love food.  People say this is unhealthy... I should eat to live.  But I enjoy eating.  I enjoy sitting down with someone I love and sharing a delicious meal.  It is an experience I just don't want to give up.  On a side note, I have been in therapy many times, sometimes for years.  I am not claiming to have conquered my issues but I am very aware of them.  I have coping strategies and know the power of my mind.  In fact, my last therapist did not think my desire to enjoy food was unhealthy.  She thought it was a very normal desire and would be a part of a normal food relationship.

Anyway, I digress.  Everyday I have to make the choice to eat "well".  It starts with the first meal of the day and ends with the last.  Each time I decide what I will be eating I make a decision.  Most of the time, it is the healthy one... but sometimes it is not.  Sometimes I just want to eat ice cream.  Sometimes I want a carby fried something for dinner.  This is where the "there are healthy alternative" talk comes into play.  But you know what... there aren't truly healthy alternatives for all things.  Sometimes you just have to have the real thing.  Replacing it with the light version just doesn't do it justice.  This is probably why I am only losing one pound a week these days.  I am choosing the unhealthy things and enjoying them.  I think about how I could be at goal right now if I just cut out all of those things.  But I am not sure if that would make me happy.  I am making a conscious effort to pick 1 and only 1 day a week to eat whatever unhealthy things I want.  After that there is no alcohol, no sugary yum yums, and no Starbucks.  I may not be perfect, but I will try.

I do have to say, I find so much inspiration in all of you who make it happen each and everyday.  Newbies are always fun to watch because their determination and motivation is at top notch.  They are rock stars.  And all of us who stay the course, continue to struggle and put in the hard work and slay our demons are doing great things.... even if it is only a pound at a time.

Week 25 Weigh In

With being out of town and all of the 4th of July celebrating I was able to pull off a solid 1lb loss this week.  This week I am extremely thankful I was able to lose anything.  My eating was terrible and I drank way too much.  I also upped my exercise.  I am 4 days from my 6 month mark post sleeve.  I feel like 62 lbs in 6 months is pretty solid, especially since I am a 2nd surgery around.  I have lost 61 percent of my excess weight and 75 lbs from my highest pre-band weight.  That is something I can be happy about.  I wish you all a great weekend, I am working, which sucks.

Week 24 update

Updating early since I will be out of town for the rest of the week.  Down another 1 lb this week.  Happy with it but would love more next week!  Happy July 4th week all!

Photo update

Week 23 Weigh In

Down 60!  Finally!  74 lbs from my highest.  I took updated photos today and will post them later.

Vacation, Sickness, and Zero Weight Loss

I am sure you all noticed (actually probably no-one noticed) that I didn't weigh in last week.  I had a good reason.  I was out of town visiting my parents who live 8+ hour away.  I had a nice 9 day vacation, gained about 1 lb, got sick as soon as I returned, and have been dealing with this ickness since.

My parents live on a lake in the upper part of Michigan.  It is beautiful and tranquil and relaxing.  My mom is a fantastic cook and baker and she insists on making many wonderful foods when we visit.  She baked 3 pies, made homemade brats, and chicken pot pie.  It was all tasty and I over indulged a few days but my sleeve really doesn't allow me to get too carried away.  Honestly I expected my weight gain to be much worse when I got home but it was only about a pound. 

I am suffering from some miserable cold now and I have been drinking my weight in orange juice daily.  It isn't really helping the weight loss I am sure, but it makes me feel better and I am desperate to get back to healthy.  Because of my sleeve procedure in January, I used all my sick time for the year.  I have a small bit of vacation time left, but I want to use it for vacation and not for sickness so I have struggling through work.  I finally feel semi human today.  I am sure my co-workers love being around my hacking snotty self.

On the weight loss from, I have a family reunion coming up in August and I would like to lose another 10 lbs by then but that could be a stretch.  I would like to at least get into the 170's, even if that means 179! 

Look for my amazing (probably not) weigh in coming Friday.  Happy Hump Day!

Week 21 Weigh In

Down another 1 lb this week. I was hoping to hit the big 60 down but I missed by 1 lb.. actually a little less than one lb. It is a beautiful day in Michigan, and I am off for the next 9 days. I need a break from work so bad.




I took out a bunch of clothes I had packed away when I gained weight, I fit in so many of them and it felt great. I also have a bunch more in the next 2 sizes down. It is nice to have clothes I like to "slim into". It is also nice not to have to spend a bunch of money on clothes on my way down.



I have been contemplating more ways to get in activity... I just haven't been enjoying any of the exercise I have been doing. Even walking is just too boring. I need something new.



Have a great weekend everyone! I know I will.

Week 20 Weigh In

Week 20 was a good week for me.  I dropped another 2 lbs and finally got into the 180's.  188 today to be exact.  I am also 2 lbs away from the big 60 lb mark.  I am hoping in the next week I can make that milestone.  I am 72 lbs down from my highest and that feels really good.  This week is the first week I really started feeling good in my clothes again.  I am not the worlds hottest babe, but I do look healthy and feel good and I think it shows.  I have also accepted the reality that my weight loss is going to be slower from this point on.  It seems like it started to slow a month ago and I really have to work for the losses.  I had hoped to be in the 160's by August but I just don't see that happening.  That is okay though... now i am aiming for 170's and I would like to be at my goal by my 1 year.  If I lose 1 lb a week for the next 32 weeks, I would be 156 lb by my 1 year.  I would be thrilled with that, it would be 103 lbs from my highest weight.  My ultimate goal is 145, but I am not sure how reasonable that really is.

In other news, I am going to the Package Tour concert tomorrow night with a high school friend.  It is New Kids On The Block, BoysIIMen, and 98 Degrees.  It is pretty much my middle school dream being realized in my 30's.  I think it is going to be a good time.  The friend I am going with lives 8 hours away and we don't see each other often, I am looking forward to spending time with her.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

Week 19 weigh in

Happy Friday all.  It is another weigh in day for me and I am happy to say I lost more than one pound this week.  I lost a whole whopping 2lbs for a total of 56  down.  I am hopeful next week will bring me to the 180's because I weighed in this morning at 190 lbs.  I feel like the 190s have taken forever to get through. 

I am off today because I work tomorrow and I have some errands I need to do.  I am also going to do a little shopping today.  I am starting to run out of clothes because the last time I was this size it was winter.  I am also losing weight differently this time and my clothes don't fit the same.

On the eating front, I have changed some things this week.  I had gotten a little lazy with my eating and was drinking.  I love wine... a lot.  I have been drinking wine a lot.  It kills the weight loss.  So... at least for the next week I am going to continue with my strict eating and wine free plan.  I have a friend coming into town next Friday and I haven't seen her in a long time... I can't lie... there will be drinking.  However, until then I am dedicated to stay strong.

When I hit the 60 lbs down mark I will update my full body shots.  Take care all and enjoy your weekend.

Week 18 Weigh In

Ugh... I am getting frustrated.  I worked very hard stepping up my work outs and eating perfectly all week.  At one point I had a 4 lbs gain.  I finished out the week exactly 1 lb down.  That puts me at a total of 54 lbs down in 18 weeks.  I am starting to get a little discouraged.  My losses have been 1 lb for the last 3 weeks.  I expected a much better week this week.  O well, it is still going down.

I had my 3 month post op with my surgeon this week (though I am more like 4ish months post op).  He was very pleased and said I looked great and was doing great.  I told him I was frustrated by my rate of loss and he said that unfortunately, revisions are much tougher than first precedures.  He said there is more struggle with consecutive surgeries but that I am still very successful and should be pleased.  I am down 68 lbs from my highest weight pre band and that is fantastic.  If I continue to lose 1 lb a week I will still make my goal by my one year anniversary.  I have to just keep plugging away!

Happy Friday!  Have a safe and enjoyable holiday weekend!

Week 17

It is week 17 and I lost another 1 lb this week.  It seems like things have really slowed for me and that means I need to get more serious about my weight loss.  I am going to try to crank up the work outs and be religious about my eating this week.  I would like another 3 lb week  There is no question my eating has been less than amazing the past couple weeks.  I am terrific during the week but then it falls apart on the weekends.  No excuses this week.

Week 16 Weigh In

It is week 16 and I had a big whopping loss of 1 lb this week.  That brings me to a grand total of 52 lbs.  I have been thinking a lot about my weight loss lately.  First off, I am still 30 lbs heavier than my lowest Lap Band low.  I am also 50% less motivated this time around.  I was religious about exercise and much more cautious about my eating.  I just don't have the desire or energy to be that anal this time.  I feel like I am living my life and losing the weight on the side.  Before I was losing the weight and living my life when it fit in.  Don't get me wrong, I am still very active in my weight loss and have to work at it to keep it going.  However, I don't make every decision based on the impact on my weight loss. 

Last night I worked until 9 pm.  My husband called me and told me he was meeting some friends for drinks at 8:30 and asked if I could meet them after I got off work.  I had eaten perfectly that day, had 900 calories, got all my protein...and for one second I thought about how I didn't want to "screw up" my perfect day.  But then I thought about how much I wanted to enjoy the company of these people and have a drink.  So I did... I had a drink ate a few fries and "messed up" my perfect day.  I am not really sure how many extra calories I had, and frankly I didn't care.  I had a good time.  This is why I will probably never be skinny.  I may never make my ultimate goal of 145 lbs, or at least take years to get there.  But I think I would rather live my life have some fun and eat "perfectly" 80% of the time instead.  If I really strapped down I could probably lose 3 lbs every single week.  I could be at my goal in 16 weeks.  But I know that isn't going to happen.  I know I enjoy food, enjoy social drinking, and I don't want to lose that.  That is the struggle.

This struggle is also why I love my sleeve.  I can't eat too much in one sitting, I can't get too out of control.  I am forced to check myself.  I am hoping for a bigger loss this coming week but thankful that the number continues to move down.

Week 15 Weigh In

Another great week for weight loss.  I lost 3 lbs this week!  I not only made it to the 50 lb down mark, I passed it with a bonus lb. I have also officially lost 50% of my excess weight (63% from my highest)!!  I have to admit, sometimes it is so hard to make good choices.  I have to tell myself over and over that it isn't worth it, I can have ______ some other time, I will be happy I didn't eat it when I step on the scale.  I love food, that will never change.

The weather is beautiful here and I have been enjoying walks with my dog.  It is amazing how much better I feel when the sun is out.  I think I am also more likely to make better food choices when the weather is nice.  I don't look for comfort as much.

Happy Friday, Keep fighting the good fight!

Week 14 Weigh In

Week 14 has treated me well, though I worked for every ounce of loss.  I lost 3 lbs this week for a total of 48 down.  Hopefully I can make it an even 50 next week!  I am also weighing in at 198 which brings me firmly below the 200 mark.  I am officially back to the weight I was when I had my band removed in July (actually 1 lb less).  I was 100% on track this week and counted each and every calorie and made some hard food choices.  I also stuck to my exercise plan.  If only I was this good all the time!

Haircut

You know what we always say... The more weight we lose the blonder we get!

Week 13 Weigh In

This week I lost 0 lbs!  No loss... in fact, I may have gained 2 ounces, but I am not recording that.  After my last loss of 4 lbs I am not terrible shocked but I am hopeful I will return to my normal losing next week.  I really need a haircut and will getting one later this week, maybe I will lose a lb or so of hair. 

It is finally starting to look like spring here in MI and it does wonders for my mood.  I am hoping it will inspire me to get out and do more outside activity.  Exercising inside is something I pretty much dread.

Take care all!

Week 12 Weigh In

I had a great week for weight loss!  I am not sure how it happened but I lost 4 lbs this week and I actually made my 12 week goal of 45 lbs lost!  I have now lost more than I have left to lose to meet my first goal weight.  I am also down 44% of my excess weight.  I am so close to 50%.  I am also very near to the magical 199 (201 today) and back to weight I was when I had my Lap Band removed last July.  My plan for the next 3 months is to lose an additional 25 lbs.  I would love to lose more but I think that would be very reasonable.  I would like to meet my goal of 160 by my birthday which is October 29th.  I would love to be down to 145 by my 1 year anniversary (though I am doubtful and dreaming).

From Lap Band to Sleeve, some things never change

I am nearly (tomorrow) 12 weeks out from my sleeve.  I am noticing lots of similarities with my sleeve and my prior Lap Band.  One of the strangest things I am noticing is that my sleeve tightens up during pms just like my Lap Band did.  I think this is very strange... for some reason it made sense with my Lap Band, but with my sleeve... it is still just my own stomach.  I noticed this week that eating has been slower and more difficult.  I get really bad reflux if I eat one too many bites, normally that would never happen.  I also notice that I am a lot more hungry during my period and days before much like with the band.  It is legit real hunger, not head hunger.

I also notice a somewhat similar feeling when I eat too much.  I get this tight chest stabbing pain.  The difference now is that it doesn't last very long and I am not likely to throw up, which I was with the band.  I have thrown up once since I have been sleeved.  It was unpleasant but very fast.

Some things are very different though.  First off I love my sleeve, I never really loved my band.  I can eat pretty much anything just within reason, something I couldn't have done with my band.  I had a whole list of off limit foods, one being salad.  Now I live off of salad and raw fruits and veggies.

I also had instant restriction.  I never had good restriction with my band.  I was either too tight or had nothing.  It has been a delight to have just the right amount of restriction.  I don't think I stay full quite as long though.  I really need to eat every 3-4 hours and eat good quality foods. 

One other thing that is different, sweets sometimes make me sick.  This NEVER happened before.  I ate a snickers bar one day and got super nauseous.  My mouth was watering and I felt horrible.  I am not sure why this happened, it may have been the amount of sugar I ate.  It is really hit and miss.  I may just be more sensitive after cutting back on sugar.  I still eat sweets, I had a piece of pie on Easter and had no problem with that.  I eat a cookie here and there and have no issues.  Ice cream can give me trouble, but most of time its perfectly fine.  Another weird thing is that I am WAY more sensitive to smells.

I am so extremely delighted with my sleeve.  It was most certainly the right decision for me.  It is all the things I wanted my band to be.  The band just didn't work out for me.  I am so happy for those who have worked with their band and had great success.

Week 11 Weigh In

I squeaked by with a 1 lb loss this week, and I am thrilled.  Not only did I not eat well, I also didn't get in much activity.  My husband is a teacher and he is on spring break this week.  I took a vacation day Monday and we spent the long weekend running around and doing "fun" stuff including eating out and drinking.  We did do a decent amount of walking outside but made up for it with drinks!   On Easter I had pie and some other junk.  Obviously, my sleeve saves me from really binging but I can still get in fatty calorie laden foods like pie.  I thought I might have a gain this week but lucky for me, I was able to still lose.  I am also getting close to the half way point of my first goal which is exciting.  I am down 41lbs and have 45 lbs until my first goal!  I really wanted to be down 45 lbs by my week 12 so I would need to lose 4 lbs this week.  It is unlikey, but I am going to give it my all!

A normal day of eating

 I am able to eat more these days and I wanted to post what an average day of eating would look like.  Today will be a pretty good example.

Breakfast: 1 cup of multi grain cheerios and 1 cup of organic skim milk

Lunch: 1 of those tuna lunch to go kits with the tuna packet and 6 crackers

Snack: 1 Pure Protein Chocolate Shake (I am still doing 1 protein shake a day and don't plan on stopping)

Dinner: Salad with 3 cups mixed greens, 2.5 ounces of chicken, .5 ounces of dried cherries, 1/8 cup pecans, and 2 tablespoons lite poppy seed dressing. (I may not be able to eat all this)

And, lots of water.  The entire day is about 940 calories, 83 grams of protein, 31 grams of fat, 90 carbs, and 1240 sodium

Some may be surprised at how much I eat or the way I eat (not low carb) but my doctor does not believe in low carb, he likes balanced eating.  As long as I am eating 900-1000 calories and 60 grams of protein I am meeting his guidelines.  The best part is... I feel pretty normal.  I am not deprived and can eat most things in moderation.

Week 10 and the big 4-0

Week 10 and I lost another 2 lbs which brings me to a total of 40 lbs down.  That is an average of 4 lbs per week, though I am most certainly not losing at that rate.  I am pretty much losing 2 lbs a week and I am okay with that.  This coming week has a lot of challenges.  Tonight I have a dinner that is work related, and though I would like to say I will stay 100% on plan, I won't.  The best part of my sleeve is that even if I over do it.. I can't really over do it.  Then on Friday we are going out with another couple to celebrate their newest rental property (drinking will happen) and then Sunday is Easter with my in laws.  Though I can't really over do one day, the extra junk and calories over a week do add up.  I am planning on upping my exercise so I don't have to feel so bad about indulging.

I do feel very different about my weight loss experience this time around.  With my Lap Band I wanted to get to goal as quickly as possible, this time I am much more realistic.  I would love to lose 100 lbs in 6 months... but I know I am not willing to live a "Biggest Loser" lifestyle to get there.  I would love to be 45 lbs down by my 3 month mark but that is only 2 weeks away and I just don't see that happening (but I will try).

I am also only 7 lbs from the weight I was when I had my Lap Band removed.  I was 199 that day.  I look forward to getting back down to 199 because I feel like all the weight I am losing now doesn't really count.  This was the weight I had to gain (plus a bonus 10) to qualify for my sleeve surgery.  I have 43 lbs to lose to be back at my lowest weight (163) post Lap Band.  That was a fleeting weight and I hope to not only get there but pass right by.  My current goal is 160 but I would love to be 145 just to say I am at a healthy BMI (I am 5'4").  If I could get to 145 by January 16th of next year I would be absolutely thrilled.  I am extremely skeptical it can ever happen but I am happy with the positive steps I am taking to long term good health.

Perfect for a Loser

I signed up for a fabulous new service.  It is essentially Netflix for clothes.  It is perfect for someone who is losing weight like me.  The company is called Gwynnie Bee, and here is a link http://goo.gl/vLzwU.  They currently have a 30 day free trial going on so it is great way to try the service with no commitment.  This is sounding a lot like an advertisement, I swear it isn't... I am just really excited about it.  You can pick different memberships from 1 item out at a time ($35 a month) to 10 items out at a time ($159 a month).  You don't have to wash anything, they dry clean everything, and you can keep the item as long as you like.  This is a plus size service so it is from size 10 and up, you super skinny girls are out of luck on this one.  :)  I have been loving the dress selection for work clothes and it is also a good way to try a new style without committing.  Anyway, just thought I would pass on the good word!

Happy Spring/ Week 9 Weigh In

I had another loss of 2lbs this week.  That puts me at 38 lbs down in 9 weeks.  That also puts me at a total of 37% of my excess weight lost, over 1/3!!  I am thrilled with that.  I feel like my body changes a lot from week to week and clothes are always fitting differently. 

In other news, it is the first day of spring here and it is snowing like crazy.  I hope it starts to warm up soon (not likely) because I am dreaming about getting my garden started.

Photos

Just wanted to update with some photos... Me at 210ish. I was 246 when I was sleeved. My highest weight was 260ish.

Week 8 Weigh In

I had a really good week this week.  I lost 4 lbs.  This brings me to a total of 36 lbs lost.  I am very pleased with this week.  I have been exercising regularly and eating well.   I will post some pictures this week.  I just got a new phone and hopefully that will improve my picture taking. 

I have been thinking a lot lately about how the sleeve is different while similar to the Lap Band.  I am not going to lie, I like my sleeve way better.  One of the best parts is that if I eat a little too much I just get a uncomfortable full feeling for about 20 minutes but that is it.  With my Lap Band I would have thrown up.  I also never get "stuck".  This is probably the best part of all.  So far I can eat anything but just in really small amounts.  I am on a pretty normal diet now and even bready things and pizza I can eat, just not a lot of it.  I get full way faster but I don't get stuck or have that, "o shit I'm gonna puke" feeling.  I also have really fantastic restriction which I never had with my Lap Band.  One thing that was better with my band was the length of time I stayed full.  It seems I was able to eat and stay full for 3 or 4 hours while with my sleeve it is only a couple hours.  However, I was also eating more at one time... so I am sure that all evens out.

At this point in my losing I am pretty much on par with what I was losing with my band.  However, with my band it was all will power.  Now I just can't physically eat much.  I am very happy with my decision and delighted with my weight loss so far.  I am feeling better each day and know I will really enjoy my slimmer body this summer.  Things are already so much easier not carrying around the extra weight.

Week 7 Weigh In

I lost a sorta unimpressive 1.8 lbs this week.  However, I will take it.  I started exercising pretty aggressively this week and I am going to contribute that to my low loss.  My clothes are all feeling much looser.  Here's hoping for a big number next week!

6 Weeks Post-Op Weigh In

I am 6 weeks post-op today and 30 lbs down!  I lost 4.2 lbs this week.  I didn't think I would make it to the 30 lb mark by today, but I am happy I did.  I even got a bonus .2 lbs to add to that 30.  I swear to God, adding in more calories and carbs knocked off another 1.5 lbs over night. 

Lipstick I love

Two years ago I made a New Year's resolution to wear lipstick.  I am not sure why but I had seen all these fashion blogs with beautiful lipped girls and I wanted to be one of them.  I tried for one day and after all the reapplying... I gave up.  Until this week when I read about this Revlon ColorStay Ultimate Suede lipstick.  I swear to you.. it is amazing.  I have heard the darker colors are better than the lighter ones, I used a very berry pinkish color called Couture.  I love this stuff.  I had read about it on another blog and had to try it.  It does not disappoint.  It lasted through 2 meals, 9 hours of work and many bottles of water.  I probably should have reapplied midday but it still looked good even though I didn't.... Just a touch lighter.  I am not getting paid to blog this (I wish) and this is just from my experience.  It isn't very expensive.. and worth a try.

Follow-Up Finally.

I had my one month follow-up today... a little late as tomorrow I will be 6 weeks.  All went well and he was very happy with my weight loss.  I had no complaints so my visit with the surgeon was brief.  I did want to talk to the dietitian to ask a few questions. 

My doctor's office is different from most in that they don't really tell me to count carbs and they are not a fan of super low calories.  Today I was told I need to eat more.  The dietitian said I need to be getting 900 calories a day at this point.  She said the only other thing I need to worry about is getting 60-80 grams of protein and drinking lots of water.  I am not going to lie, I am relieved to hear she wants me to eat more.  I really have no problem getting 900 calories in throughout the day.  I had been sticking to 600-800 and my loss wasn't as impressive as it had been when I was eating 1000-1200 my first few months after my Lap Band.

I am also happy that they feel carbs are important and long as I am getting in my protein they want me supplementing with fruits and veggies and other good for me things.  I want a balanced diet (as balanced as 900 calories can be).  I will be interested to see how this impacts my next week of weight loss.  Anyway, I will weigh in tomorrow and update the old ticker.

We are getting some really crappy weather here in MI... and I am tired from working all weekend.  I am already waiting for the weekend!

The Dr's Appointment That Didn't Happen, and Eating More

So my 1 month follow up was supposed to be yesterday.  Though I am already moving on to 6 months post op next Wednesday and past my one month.  I didn't end up going because the weather was really crappy and I drive about an hour to get to my surgeons office.  I am now going for my 1 month on Tuesday. 

Last night we had a bunch of people over and it was a drink fest with lots of pizza and alcohol and cookies.  I ended up eating about 1300 calories yesterday... first of all, it is amazing I was able to do this.. but between 2 glasses of wine, a bunch of peanut butter m&ms and 2 chocolate chip cookies... the deed was done.  I didn't have pizza cause I am still on soft food... cookies are not considered soft food.. so that was just plain cheating.  I am not sure what got into me but I think all the self pity and annoyance over food issues got to me.  The funny thing is, is that it got my weight loss moving again.  This always seems to happen with me.  Now keep in mind this is the first time I have had more than 800 calories in nearly 6 weeks and that I am fully aware that I can not make a habit of this.  So, today I am back to eating my usual high protein low carb low cal diet.  I am not going to lie... I enjoyed it.

Happy Saturday, I am working.

Weigh In Week 5

As I mentioned in my previous post, the weight loss was not very impressive this week.  I lost a total of 1 lb, however, in 5 weeks that brings me to 26 lbs lost which equals 11% of my total body weight and 26% of my excess weight.  When I look at it that way, I feel much better.  It is also an average of  5.2 lbs a week which isn't bad at all.  I am setting my next goal for 35 down by week 8 which will be March 13th.

I see my doctor on Friday for my 1 month follow-up (a little late) and I hope he is pleased.

I hate myself and everyone else today

A bit dramatic right... yeah.  I am not sure what is wrong with me but I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  My husband is home on midwinter break (he is a teacher) and I have to work.  I wasn't going into work today until noon.  For some reason, him being there threw off my morning.  I also forgot to take my zoloft last night, am still having back problems, and I haven't lost any weight in the last week.  I want to eat normal people food and not have to plan complicated stupid meals for myself.

Ok, now that I have whined... let me get real.  I know I will not lose weight every day or every week.  I know I lost 7 lbs last week which means I probably won't lose much this week.  I know I am learning to eat again and that this is all a process.  I know I am not being rational.  But, today, I feel sorry for myself, and I hate the person I saw in the mirror.

My husband asked me why I was having a bad morning and I burst out crying.  I told him I hate myself today and I just want to eat something without thinking about it.  I know I am being hard on myself... I know I need to stop, but I am giving myself permission to feel this way today.  I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I am just keeping it real.

Wednesday Weigh In

4 weeks post-op today and down 25 lbs.  I had a giant fantastic loss of 7 lbs this week!  About time after the crap losses I had the two previous weeks!

Tricky eating

So I will be 4 weeks post op tomorrow and I am still trying to get the hang of eating soft foods.  Things like cottage cheese and yogurt and cheese seem to be no problem.  Fish is easy... other meat.. tricky.  I have been eating turkey lunch meat wrapped around a piece of cheese.  I have to eat very slowly, which I suck at.  I always eat too fast and then end up with a little pain.  I keep practicing but at work I just can't seem to remember to eat slow.  I am very aware of the amount I am eating so I have never eaten too much.  I will pretty much be on this same diet for the next 6 weeks.  Then I can add in raw veggies and fruits.  I can't wait.  I love salads and I am really missing them.

My back is still giving me big trouble.  I hurt most of the time.  By the time night rolls around I am so much pain I just can't wait to go to bed.  It has certainly improved but now I feel like the improving has sort of leveled off.  I am going to the chiropractor 3x a week.  It helps, but not enough.  Back pain is so frustrating. 

My weight loss is moving a long nicely this week.  I will have an official weigh-in tomorrow.  Being that it is fat Tuesday, people in the metro Detroit area celebrate with paczkis which is a Polish filled donut.  I never really liked them but people have been trying shove them down my throat all day.  I can't eat them, and I am okay with that.  None-the-less, I hope you all are enjoying your fat Tuesday!

Week 3

I weighed myself this morning and I lost a very underwhelming .8 lbs.  That makes a total of 18 lbs including my 4 pre-op, so 14 lbs in 3 weeks isn't bad.  It is however frustrating because 12 of that was in the first 5 days after surgery.  O well.. I know how this works and I am sure I will start losing more again soon.  Today I can start soft foods so that means lean tender meats, seafood and fish and cooked/canned fruits and veggies.  I am looking forward to it.

My back is still miserable.  Whatever I did to it, it isn't bouncing back.  I have an appointment at the chiropractor during my lunch hour today.  While at work I have to lay on the floor and stretch every hour so I don't get even more spasms.  It is getting ridiculous.

I wanted to mention one of the most delicious things I have tried in a long time.  I have been living on protein shakes for the last 4 weeks and I am getting so tired of the flavors.  I had read about PB2, the powdered peanut butter, on multiple blogs in the past but never tried it.  I finally ordered some last week and it came yesterday.  OMYGOD!  2 tablespoons of PB2 in a chocolate protein shake and heaven follows.  It is 45 calories for 2 tablespoons and has 5 grams of protein!  I am not sure why I didn't try this earlier, but it is delightful.

Nearly 3 weeks outs.

I am coming up on three weeks (Wednesday) post sleeving.  So far I feel really good (in the sleeve department).  However, last Wednesday, my first day back to work, I hurt my back.  I have an ongoing problem with lower back spasms.  I went into work feeling great and left in tears on my drive home.  I drove myself (hardly) to the urgent care.  The doctor gave me Flexeril, more vicodin, and an anti inflammatory shot.  I had to call in Thursday and Friday and I pretty much slept through the last 4 days.  I stopped taking the vicodin on Saturday because it makes me feel gross and have only been taking the Flexeril before bed.  I am significantly better, but I am still really hurting. 

I am back at work today, armed with my heat wrap, back pillow, and meds.  I called my surgeon's office to get the okay to take nsaids for a short time, so I just took a dose of those.  Back pain is miserable...but I am determined to bounce back.

I am looking forward to moving on to soft foods this Wednesday.  I can finally start eating somewhat normal.  I can have fish and seafood, tender white meat, cooked fruits and vegetables, and other delicious options.  I am getting so tired of eating soup, beans, and mashed potatoes.

On the weight front, it is still pretty unimpressive.  The scale isn't moving much so I have to be patient.  I am still eating between 600-800 calories, and even that is a struggle some days.  I am just glad that things seem to be going down smoothly and I feel, for the most part, healthy.

2 weeks post-op and back to work

Today I am officially two weeks post-op.  It is also my first day back to work.  This week I lost a whopping 1.2 lbs.  My body must be hanging on for dear life considering I am eating no more that 800 calories a day.  I am feeling pretty good, almost back to normal.  I start pureed foods today so that is a step in the right direction. 

Happy Monday to all!

Post-op Day 8

Today is a very nice quiet relaxing day for me.  I am just sitting around at home and enjoying what is left of my time off from work (I got back next Wednesday).  I am still a little sore... but it is all extremely manageable.  No more movement on the scale but I am not at all surprised by that.  I am still on my full liquid diet for another week and I am already getting sick of my choices.  My favorite thing seems to be cottage cheese.  Somehow, it feels like real food.

I am learning what it feels like to have a sleeve and honestly, it some ways it is similar to my Lap Band.  I get that same squeeze feeling I would get when I ate too fast or ate too big of a bite.  However, I do not get the slimy pukey feeling that would often follow.  I do get a little miserable if I eat one too many bites but I think that is hard to do at this stage.

My biggest obsession has become worrying about a leak.  I can't imagine anything worse, short of dying, that could happen.  I knew the statistics before surgery, and still know now that it is relatively rare.  However, I recently started researching how they fix the leak and that is terrifying.  I pray everyday that I continue on a healing path with no complications.  I also take my temperature twice a day to make sure I don't have any early leak symptoms.

I have my first follow up with my doctor tomorrow to have all my staples taken out and talk about my progress/issues.  I did get a call from the office yesterday and I have a vitamin D issue so I have to go on a prescription for 12 weeks.  Living in the Midwest where the temps have been in the single digits isn't helping!  I have only been outside for a few brief moments this past week.

Anyway, I am leaving you with a picture of my incisions because I have SO MANY scars.  Some from my original Lap Band, then my port revision, then my Lap Band out, and now my sleeve.  My stomach is a map of my weight loss history!

Day 6 VSG post-op

It is day six and I feel like I finally turned a corner yesterday.  I went shopping with my mom a couple hours, and though I was tired, all the walking really made a difference.  This surgery recovery has been different in so many ways, and has also been tougher.  I started my phase 2 full liquid diet yesterday and I am very happy to be introducing new things into my diet like strained cream soups, cottage cheese (squashed), runny mashed potatoes, pudding, yogurt, and a few other things.  So far it has been a learning process.

I am still struggling to get in enough.  I fill up really quick and liquids are slow to go down.  Each day it seems to get better, I imagine this is due to the swelling going down.  So far today I have had 1 protein drink, 1 pudding cup, a couple spoonfuls of yogurt and a couple spoonfuls of soup.  I am going to try to get in one more protein drink.  I am also really working on the water.  I am entirely off the vicodin and solely taking Tylenol.  I am slowly getting used to my new stomach and the way it feels when it is giving off signals. 

On the plus side, I have lost about 10 lbs since surgery last Wednesday and 16 since my post op.  I am now exactly 30 lbs from my highest pre-op Lap Band weight.  Even though I gained a lot back, it was still nice to have a little jump start on last time.  I am impressed how quickly the weight is coming off this time around.  I know I should be hitting a stall any day now but I will take it while I can.

My first follow-up with the surgeon is Friday and I will have my staples taken out.  I can't wait for that.  They are itchy and pinchy!  Take care all!

Day 4 post-op

Wow, this time around has been so different than any of my band related surgeries!  I am finding it way more difficult this time.  I ended up spending two nights in the hospital because I was struggling with bad nausea.  Once I got past that hurdle I was able to have my upper GI to check for leaks.  All came out clear and I was able to go home yesterday around noon.  I have never been so happy to be home and in my own bed.  I slept from 8 pm-7:30 am this morning without even much moving the entire night.  I was exhausted. 

I am starting to feel better but I still very sore and getting used to my new tiny stomach.  I can only take small sips and have been living off sugar free popsicles and water.  I have two more days until I can move on to full liquids and start working on the protein.  I have a lot of staples in my incisions that I will have out some time next week.  When I feel better I will post some pictures.  Anyway, I hope all is well or everyone in blog land.  I am heading back to bed for a nap.

Sleeved

I have made it to the other side. I ended up rolling into the OR at about 11:50 am and was in my room by 3. I am not going to lie, I feel worse than I expected. I am pretty sore and am really struggling with a general "I may barf at any moment feeling". I have only had ice chips so far and even they can be tricky going down. I have no regrets, just feeling a little sorry for myself. In the end I know it will be great.

Surgery tomorrow

I will be having my surgery at roughly 11:15 tomorrow morning.  I have to be at the hospital at 9:15.  I am on Gatorade and juice today and so far it is going okay.  I have my fingers crossed  that everything goes smoothly and I wake up feeling (reasonably) good.

Liquid Diet Day 4

Day  4 of the liquid diet and only 4 more days until my surgery.  The liquids are going along okay.  I am feeling like I just don't have a lot of energy.  Of course, that could be in part to my cold.  I am still sick, but much much better.  I am working today and am trying to get as much done as possible.  I only work 2 more days before my medical leave.  I will barely be at work at all this month.  I had a 16 day vacation for the holidays and now medical leave.  I feel bad but know how important this surgery is. 

I had all my labs done yesterday at the hospital and everyone was so kind and encouraging.  I really do love all the hospital staff there.  Counting down... until sleeve day.

Day 2 liquid diet

Liquids are rough today. I am really hungry today... and just having cravings. Less than one week until my surgery and I am (crossing my fingers) feeling a little better on the cold front.

Pre-op Liquid Diet- Day 1

Today I had to attend my pre-op orientation with the nurse and dietitian.  They made me go through it again because some things have changed from when I had my Lap Band placed in 2009.  Frankly, I don't really think much changed, but I guess it was a good reminder.  I also started my first day of my all liquid all the time diet.  I am sure I will hate it soon.  O wait, I already do.  But, I am a trooper and it will be worth it when next Wednesday rolls around and my liver isn't too big for surgery.

Friday I have my pre admission testing which is always fun.  I am a pro, I have been through pre admission testing 3 times for my Lap Band related surgery, so this will be the 4th!  I am also suffering with the terrible miserable cold that seems to be going around the state of MI.  I am pretty miserable but don't want to miss any work because I am going to be off for my surgery.  I have the biggest red nose and some delightful zits from all the nose blowing/rubbing.  I am hoping I feel much better soon.  Also, the Puffs with Vicks and lotion is the most amazing invention ever.

Surgery Date!!

I got my surgery date.  It will be January 16th, one week from Wednesday.  I have to go next Wednesday for the post-op care class and diet info.  So far, the new year is looking up.

Preapproval Diet... Officially Done.

I went in to my surgeons office to have my last weigh-in this morning.  I am officially done.  I am just waiting for a surgery date now.  I talked to the girl who does the scheduling and she said I should hear from her mid next week.  So, by the end of this month I will finally have my sleeve.  I can't wait.  Let's just say I gained some weight this month... all the weight I had lost the month before Christmas...

I need to get myself back up on the horse and try to drop that weight again before my surgery.  The more I lose now, the better I will off post-op.

Stay tuned for my surgery date announcement, coming soon.

Take care all!