A bit dramatic right... yeah. I am not sure what is wrong with me but I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My husband is home on midwinter break (he is a teacher) and I have to work. I wasn't going into work today until noon. For some reason, him being there threw off my morning. I also forgot to take my zoloft last night, am still having back problems, and I haven't lost any weight in the last week. I want to eat normal people food and not have to plan complicated stupid meals for myself.
Ok, now that I have whined... let me get real. I know I will not lose weight every day or every week. I know I lost 7 lbs last week which means I probably won't lose much this week. I know I am learning to eat again and that this is all a process. I know I am not being rational. But, today, I feel sorry for myself, and I hate the person I saw in the mirror.
My husband asked me why I was having a bad morning and I burst out crying. I told him I hate myself today and I just want to eat something without thinking about it. I know I am being hard on myself... I know I need to stop, but I am giving myself permission to feel this way today. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, I am just keeping it real.