Thursday, March 6, 2008
Hello,I am a 26 year old married woman living in the metro Detroit area. However, I could pretty much be any fat girl. Actually, that probably isn't true. I could be one of many fat girls, though. I do not eat because I am unhappy. I do not have some deep down secret which I can not share so instead I turn to food. I am not miserable and I do try to look nice every day wearing make-up and earrings and nice clothes. I even feel pretty good about myself. My husband loves me and treats me very well. He says he is attracted to me no matter what and that I will always be beautiful to him. I appreciate this, but I know his attraction would only improve if I got back down to my "wedding weight". My struggle with weight has been life long. I remember being bigger than all the other girls in middle school. I wasn't obviously huge but I was 10lbs or so heavier. In high school my weight matter a lot to me. I am 5'4" and I was 164 lbs the first time I went on a diet. The first diet I went on was Weight Watchers my Sophomore year of high school. I lost 38lbs and got down to 128lbs. I looked very thin looking back, but at the time I still wasn't satisfied. I thought I looked fat but had been dieting so unrealistically and obsessively that I was unable to keep up the momentum. I started to back slide and by my Junior year I had gained all the weight back plus some. I often wonder if I had never dieted at all what I would look like as an adult. I don't remember when the next time I weighed myself was. I remember in college being in the 180s and being repulsed by this. What I would give now to be 180.
My Junior year of college I got ingaged and wanted to lose weight again. This time I did weight watchers online and lost about 50 lbs. I must have been 195ish when I started. I looked great on my wedding day, and I am thankful for this. When I look back at pictures I feel good about the way I looked. Again, the weight crept back on and before I knew it I was 186. I was not motivated and continued to "try" to lose weight but just lost a few pounds and then gained a few pounds.
I went back to weight watchers again and again, quite again and again, tried nutrasystem, tried Seattle Sutons as well as many other things. I probably could have had success with any one of these weight loss attempts but I just wasn't motivated and I didn't really want to do the work.
This brings me to now. I weigh 244lbs. I can't believe I had gained all this weight... but I know how I did it. I ate fast food every chance I got and loved sweets. I still love them... I dream about icecream and cake and cookies and candy. However, I don't want to be this person anymore. I want to be happy trying on clothes and getting ready for work in the morning.
So.... I joined Medical Weight Loss and I am 2 days into the program. I feel really good about and am excited when I go into the clinic. I am currently in the fasting stage and can only eat red meat and salad. This is tough, and it lasts for 3 days. Tomorrow is my last day. I am already down to 239.2. I am so excited. Here we go again!