Monday, March 14, 2016

Life is hard

I haven't blogged in a really long time.  Life has been really tough the last.  My dad was really sick last spring, they couldn't figure out what was going on and he was finally diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.  He went through 6 months of chemo and finished this past December.  It is chronic disease, so not curable.  He got the all clear in January that he is in full remission.  How long that remission will last is anyone's guess.  We are hoping it is years.  He is still struggling with not feeling the best, we are hoping it is the chemo and not a return of the cancer.  He will see his doctor the end of this month for his 3 month check-up.

In October, just a few days before my birthday our puppy Frankie passed away during a surgery.  On Friday I had picked him up from doggy daycare and he was acting a little weird.  I wasn't sure what was going on but once we got home and we were there for a little while, I realize something was really wrong.  We took him straight to the emergency vet.  They thought he had a hernia because he was in a lot of pain.  They admitted him and let us know he would go into surgery that night or the next morning.  The next morning the vet called and explained that it wasn't a hernia but he had an infection in his abdomen and had dead tissue that had to be removed.  They expected great success and a quick recovery.  The next couple days we spoke with the vet and they wanted to keep him on iv antibiotics.  Sunday night this started to go down hill.  He wasn't responding as well to the antibiotics and couldn't keep anything down.  By Monday the vet wanted to operate again because he was showing signs of sepsis.  That evening they took him in to the operating room again where he died on the table.  He was 14 months old.  I don't have kids, our pets are like children to us.  This was one of the most painful things I had ever been through.  I was devastated and had a hard time living life for a couple months.

To makes things worse, a couple weeks after Frankie died our other dog who had just turned 11, was diagnosed with fairly aggressive non-responsive to treatment cancer.  We tried some holistic stuff and prednisone which worked great for a few months.  We lost him a few weeks ago.

We did have some bright spots in this all.  About 6 weeks ago we adopted a 3 year old boxer named Molly from a rescue.  Her and our senior dog got along great and she was so sweet to him in his last weeks.  He was doing really well when we first got her so he had a great month with her before he started going downhill.  Molly has really helped us get through the tough loss of our amazing Ike.

I am doing okay all in all.  I don't mean to just give a huge sob story.  My weight is a disaster.  I have been eating my feelings for the past 6 months and need to get it under control.  I know eating isn't a good response to emotion, but it is what I know best.  My friends and family, and especially my husband have been incredible through all the drama.  Hope you are all well in blog land!


Linda said...

Hi Anna - life is hard and does really suck sometimes. I'm sorry about your dogs, but glad to hear your Dad is in remission. I totally know the feeling of when it rains it pours. Take care!!

Grandma Bonnie said...

So sorry for all your heartache. I can empathize with it all. I know the eating the feelings thing and if that is what got you thru so be it. It is now spring, a new beginning and you too can spring forward and start anew. We all do it for different reasons all the time. There is no shame in picking your self up, dusting yourself off and start all over again.
Good luck because honey, this is a life long "thing".

Amy W. said...

Well you know that my dogs are my babies as well...and that we had to put Bubba down before Christmas and even though he was "Heather's dog", I stayed in the room with him because she couldn't and it so so heartbreaking. I've become probably irrationally attached to our puppies (even though they are 2 now and not really puppies) and fear things happening to them. But, I wouldn't want a life without pets. Their lives are unpredictable, just like ours, and we love them and they love us and give the most we can to each other regardless of how much time we may have. I hope this year brings you more bright spots instead of dark ones friend.

Beth Ann said...

Oh my goodness! That is an awful lot to handle. I do hope things get a little brighter. Hugs! said...

Oh Anna. So sorry for your struggles and loss.