Not so sick anymore... finally

2008, 225 lbs
2009, 259 lbs
2008, 199 lbs

2007, 189 lbs

So, I am finally starting to feel better. I slept through the night last night for the first time in nearly a week. I got up this morning and I didn't feel groggy or too ickish. I even took the dog for a nice walk this morning around 8. It was so beautiful here, I just couldn't resist. I hadn't really left the house much for the past 5 days. It felt so nice to have some sun on my skin.

Unfortunately, I had such a sore throat over the past week I ate crappy things (ice cream mostly). It was all about what felt good and not so much about what was good for me. I did wake up this morning with a loss and hope to continue on the losing streak now that I am feeling better. I am only .6 lbs away from 75 lbs down. It is funny, I always wonder when I will feel like a "big time" loser. First I thought 50, then 60, then 70 lbs. I was certain 75 lbs would make me feel like I had accomplished something huge... which I do... but not in the way I expected.

It is strange... because I haven't always been fat... but I have always been trying to lose weight. I had mentioned before that the first time I went on a diet was my freshman year of high school and I was 164 lbs. I wasn't thin by any means, but I wasn't huge either. At the time I felt huge. At my highest weight, before surgery, I was 259 lbs. When I met my husband in 2001 I was 186lbs. I thought I could use to lose some weight then too but I wasn't obsessed... I was in love. When I got married I was 152lbs... I wanted to lose more, but honestly, I felt amazing. Looking back, I also looked really good. By the time we went on our delayed "sort of" honey-moon six months later I was 192 lbs. I was always aware of my weight and I always wanted to lose more. I also always compare where I am now to what was going on the last time I was at that weight... like now... I am about the same weight I was when I met my husband.

I am still waiting for the moment where I look in mirror and can't believe it is me... but I have seen myself at so many sizes, it is never that surprising. I think the most shocking mirror image was when I was 259lbs. I didn't feel like that person and it didn't look like me. I am thrilled with how far I have come. I feel so much better, have more energy, enjoy things more, and don't constantly stress about food. But I don't feel much different from the Annas of the past. I wonder when, or if I will.