Monday, May 10, 2010

Sometimes It is just SO hard

To be an adult, to live my life, and be responsible. Lately I have been dealing with some stressful situations. My husband's grandmother is very sick... my husband has no relationship with his mom and it has become his responsibility to make sure all is okay with grandma. I LOVE his grandma, she is 86 and the most amazing person. But the family problems strain the whole situation which is stressful enough to begin with.

Also, one of our cats is very sick. She was diagnosed with mammary cancer in February. We were hopeful that with surgery and chemo we could at least push it into remission for a year or so. Well it is back again in full force. We have spent thousands of dollars (that we probably really don't have to spend) on treatment and are now at a place where we have to decide what to do again. It is inevitable that this cancer will be terminal... we were just buying time. This is so hard for me. We love our pets like children. Some days I just cry about it and others I am able to be rational.

We are always dealing with financial stress, as we have so much debt, mostly from student loans. On a side note, we learned a very important lesson about money. After our cat got sick and it got very expensive, we got pet insurance for our other 4 pets. It is amazing. One of our other cats had to have surgery shortly after we bought the insurance and it was covered in full with a $50 deductible. This surgery was over $600. I can't imagine if we would have had to pay for that on top of the health care for the other cat.

Anyway... all of this stuff is making it really hard for me to concentrate on my weight loss. I enjoy the feeling I get from eating ice cream or cookies. Sometimes I feel like it is the only way to find calm and happiness. Obviously, I am abusing food... obviously, this is not healthy. I know this but I just can't find anything else that makes me feel that good. I do try to get back on track every Monday and try to practice good band habits.. and I do for the most part... but I just keep losing and gaining the same couple pounds. So really... I am just maintaining. But, that is still so much better then gaining.

I really do love my band... and all of you who help me on my journey.


THE DASH! said...

You are going through so much right now - its no wonder you're struggling concentrating just on your band and your weight loss.
Just know that once things settle down, you will be able to concentrate more on yourself. I hope things sort for you :)

Lap Band Gal said...

Hang in there, hope things settle down soon for you :)

Jennifer said...

Aw..I'm so sorry about all of your stress. You do have a lot on your plate right now. (And no, I wasn't talking about ice cream.)
Hang in there!

DB said...

{{{HUGS}}} to you. Sorry you are going through all of this.

Nella said...

Stress SUCKS! Hang in will come out on top!

amandakiska said...

So sorry about all you're going through right now. Hang in there and keep blogging!

The Shrinking Rini said...

Hang in there. I'm sorry to hear about your cat. I know what it's like to love your pets like kids!