Life without a band

Since having my Lap Band out I have been in pain.  My incisions are sore, but mostly, an incision in my belly button (why in the hell would anyone ever poke in there?!) is really uncomfortable.  I feel like everything is falling out my belly button... like my organs aren't attached and are trying to squeeze themselves out.  I can honestly say I turned the corner yesterday and really started to feel better.  My tummy still hurts, but nothing I can't tolerate.

I have no pain while eating and can eat whatever.  I ate a cheeseburger today with a bun.  It was great.  The strange thing with eating is that I have made mostly really good choices and I really only have been eating 2 meals a day because I am staying full for a long time.  I am sure this has something to do with swelling and healing going on but it has been nice.  I have actually dropped a couple pounds.  The is whole experience has been very introspective.  Firstly, the fact that I needed this little contraption to make me stop eating is incredible.  I was willing to sacrifice a lot for that.  I also think the band didn't work well for me since the beginning.  Sure I lost weight, but it never felt like I was eating right or naturally.  It also makes me a little sad that I know my journey is far from over and though I would like to believe this has changed me... I know it probably hasn't.  I am reflecting on what I feel about the future knowing the sleeve is the next stop.

I am ready, but so not ready.  I am not ready for another surgery, recovery, physiological change, and so on.  I am ready to be healthy.  For now I am just working on the healing and work on the future on Friday when I see my surgeon.