Okay, so the doctor's office called me back today to let me know that my appointment for my upper GI will be at 8 am on June 8th! June 8th!!! That is a week away. I know really... a week isn't THAT long to wait. But it so is... I am struggling here. I had hoped I could get in before the end of the week.. but of course.. no go.
I am hungry all the time. It isn't head hunger... it isn't emotional eating. I am hungry. I know I am eating things I wasn't eating before.... because I can. I have had lots of bread and know I need to cut back on that again. I am so scared I am going to get off track and will have to do all this backpedaling once I have restriction again.
When I was going through the first 6 months of bandster hell I had lots of motivation and that helped to keep me on track. Now that I am almost 9 months into my weight loss, it is so much harder to find motivation inside myself.
I know all I need to do is go back to the "band rules" and in theory I should be good to go. But I feel so out of control. It is amazing to me that after all the weight loss, after being so happy about the progress I have made, that I can still let food have such a hold on me.
I have a plan.. but now I need to follow it. Seven days... I can do anything for seven days right?!