Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I won the battle but can I win the war?!

I sure hope so. Last night I got home from work and I was starving. Real honest to goodness hunger. I was making dinner but it wouldn't be done for about an hour so I started looking for snacks. I had 1/4 c of cottage cheese... waited a while.. still starving... then I had a vita top... still hungry... and finally a slice of cheese. I felt content at that point and hadn't done too much damage. By the time dinner was done I wasn't that hungry so I ate half as much as I had planned and was very pleased.

I survived all that but I hit a wall later. I was feeling sad... the weather was nice and I wanted my husband to go for a walk with me. He was tired and had just taken the dog for a walk and didn't want to go again. I could have taken the dog myself, but instead I just felt like pouting. After working all weekend I kept thinking how I didn't get to do anything fun (I am such a baby sometimes) and thought I deserved something sweet. I sat on the couch thinking about eating the chocolate that was in the pantry. I had even rationalized it all in my head. But then I started thinking about how I would feel after I ate the chocolate.

Now, let me say... it didn't make me feel any better last night not binging. But this morning I felt like a huge success. I had overcome something that I would have given into so many times before. I know I won't always win the temptation/binge fight. But each time I successfully make it through I chalk that up to a good experience.

Ironically, when I got into work today I saw this picture of me at my heaviest (I hate it so so much):

Binging and emotional eating are exactly what got me to that weight. I never want to go back there again!


Miss Vickie "The Queen Bee" said...

I think that is a great achievement! I can certainly relate.

workinprogress said...

Wow!!! That's fantastic - I'm not sure I would have been able to resist :-)

Good on you!

Amy W. said...

You will win this war, one battle at a time! Look how far you have come! Just look!

Jennifer said...

Yes! You've done it, you'll do it again. Day by day. You look great by the way! I love the before photos, they are so motivating.

carla said...

I would not have been able to resist..great job!!