Monday, November 23, 2009

I worry...

I have this problem where I worry about the what ifs. I always think of the worst case scenario and then stress about. I actually take medication for generalized anxiety and that has made it considerably better but I still have times when I am overly concerned. Right now I am really stressed about the infection. I am taking a really high dosage of antibiotics and it seems to look a little better but it started draining this morning. It is not pussy or anything but I am still freaking out. I talked to the nurse at the surgeons office and she said it sounds normal because the fluid would need to drain out somewhere.

I have had so many issues with my band early on. I just want to be healthy and happy and successful with it's help. I know I should not worry and that the antibiotics take time but I just don't want it to get worse.

In other news, I didn't sleep very well last night. I woke up at four and tried to fall back asleep couldn't. I am not sure what the deal was but I realized I wasn't making any progress just laying there so I got up. Now I am tired and at work. What a Blah Monday!


Anonymous said...

Anna it will get better! Just keep doing your dressing changes (use sterile technique when you do) and you will be healed up soon. I am thinking about you and know you will be through this wall soon!

Barbara said...

Dear Anna,

You are in the thick of life, and worry is sort of like an annoying gnat. You swipe at it but it doesn't go away. But honestly hon, let it go.. it is negative energy. About 4 years ago I had all of the worry, pain and sadness I thought i could handle. My DH was dx with an incurable blood cancer. 10 days from dx they told me he was going to die at the age of 50. Did I worry.. yes. did that change the direction of things. no. But the good news is he didn't die. I entrusted his care to the excellent doctors who knew what they were doing and I spent a whole lot of time on my knees praying (and so did alot of other people around me). I am not down playing your situation, but the rule I have learned in life is to worry or take action with the things I can truly change or influence.. the rest, well it doesn't make a difference. Hang in there follow doctors orders, don't be afraid to do your own reasarch and challenge them.. but stay positive.. I will be saying my prays to help you through. Hugs

The Dash! said...

There you go - I was going to say the same thing as Barbara but she said it so beautifully I will just agree. As hard as it is.. what you expend is negative energy and you most likely can't change the outcome of things so try to turn things around to a positive.
You will heal - almost positive on that one - just keep up doing what needs doing and before you know it, you will 100 percent again.

Kinzie said...

Keep hanging in there, this will be better soon. Smile! and try not to worry. I have a good feeling that everything will turn around very soon.