So, I just finished reading this article from Prevention. The author talks about her experiences with binging. She explains how binging isn't about the amount of food you eat "but by the way you eat it. Two cookies can be a binge if you eat them with urgency, desperation, and the pressing need for an altered state."
This is how I have been eating the past few days. I eat things that I think will make me feel something. I eat quickly and with desperation. I want that food to make me feel a certain way so badly. I just want to zone out. I am constantly fighting these urges but always to different degrees. Some days it hardly bothers me, other days all I can feel is the call of the food.
I have talked before, about the way I now recognize that I'm eating for the wrong reasons. I don't usually stop doing it, but I do muster up the strength to start the next day or week or hour fresh. I am searching for that strength right now, and I know it is here somewhere.
I love the authors idea of the 3- Minute Warning. She says, "The next time you want to binge, tell yourself that you're going to take 3 minutes—only 3—to be with yourself before you eat. Then, sit down, breathe a few times, and with as much kindness as you can muster, ask yourself gently what is going on. What do you need? Whom do you need it from? What would be the kindest thing you could do for yourself now?If you still want to eat after you've done this, notice how the food tastes in your mouth. Notice how you feel after you've eaten. Ask yourself if eating felt kind."
I plan on doing this from now on. I am going to do my best to stay present in the moment and be aware.
In other news, my scale broke. I weighed myself yesterday and was up to 204 (two lb gain). I got on it again this morning and nothing... blank. Put new batteries in... nothing. I think this was a sign from a higher power. Time to get back on track and off the scale.
Hope you all are having a successful Thursday!