Sunday, January 31, 2010
I am still happy that I am feeling something though... I am by no means tight but I am starting to feel some action. Someone once told me they had the most problems right before they got to their sweet spot. I have hoping that is what I am dealing with.
O well... off to the treadmill for an hour.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tomorrow I go in for fill #4. I am really really hoping this is make a difference for me. I am having a hard time dealing with my hunger and would at least like to take the edge off of that. I am trying to drink more water in hopes that it will fill me up... yeah not so much. I am hoping to get closer to that elusive onederland this week. I will be on liquids tomorrow so hopefully that will give me a boost. I wasn't a great eater over the weekend... lots of ice cream for the sore throat, but when I am sick I refuse to worry about what I am putting in my mouth.
In other news, I am totally jealous of Amy W's amazing stomach. She and I are roughly the same weight and height and let me tell you... my stomach is much more "fat" than hers. I hope to someday look that good.
Have a good Monday all!
Friday, January 22, 2010
I know I felt so uncomfortable at that weight. I think I look like I am miserable. Then I found these two pictures from an outdoor event we did in August. I had my surgery September 9th so this is probably only a few weeks before. I HATE these pictures. I had no idea I was so heavy and when I saw these it sealed the Lap Band deal. I knew I could not live like this.
Summer is our bread and butter at the library. We do a summer reading game for kids through adults and we give out huge prizes. We do lots of fun events and work long hours, but I love it. Part of the excitement over summer reading for us is our official summer reading t-shirts. Every year we get 3 or 4 t-shirts with the logos on them. These become our work "uniform" for the summer.
I always hated wearing these t-shirts because I felt fat and dumpy. This year I want to feel good in my shirt. I even ordered a couple sizes smaller this year. This for me, is a great reason to stay on track. I want to really enjoy summer this year. Only a little over 4 more months to go. I should be able to lose at least another 25-30 lbs by then. I would feel amazing at that weight!
What is your motivation to stay on track?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A big thanks for all the positive comments. I do feel like a new person. I understand what is going on now. I can't always correct the problem right then, but I can reflect on it and try to keep it from happening again.
I am not perfect, but I am learning and that is very exciting.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
I am going in for a fill next Tuesday and I am praying number 4 will bring me some restriction. I am struggling again and I am feeling a bit careless. I have come to the cross road where I made the decision not to care right now. Blech. Good thing I am seeing the therapist Thursday. I think there may be more to this bad eating. I think I am hitting my wall.
Better news tomorrow? Hopefully.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Secondly, thank you all for you sweet compliments on my size 16 pictures. I am feeling pretty great these days and am SO HAPPY with my progress. I have learned so much about myself in these past four months and all of my fellow blog friends have been such a big part of that.
I am working again today, not wearing a cardigan, but a lovely red library polo. I was tired this morning and had a tough time getting out of bed. I didn't exercise as I had planned and when I got to work I saw 3 big boxes of donuts. I had one, couldn't resist, it was chocolate and SO good. Something that has actually worked for me ** warning may not work for you** is that I am super strict Monday- Friday eat 1000 calories (each day) work out an hour - an hour and a half and then ease off on the weekends. In fact I usually don't worry about calories at all. I don't go insane, but I generally allow myself a dinner out and eat whatever I want and have desert. I may have a cookie or donut and a few drinks. I think it shakes up my metabolism. This is what I did last week and I lost 3.4 lbs. I am not saying this will work for everyone, but I am lucky enough to still get optimal weight loss this way.
Anyway, hope you all had a great weekend and are enjoying your Sunday!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
In other news, I have the day off, and have an appointment to have my nails done and hair cut. I will enjoy both very much. I always feel so much better when I have my hair cut. I feel like I am more put together, even if I am still a hot mess. :)
Happy Friday all!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
O well... I am making progress at least!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I tried other things too, Medical Weight Loss (a REALLY expensive doctor directed program), South Beach, NutriSystem, Atkins, the list is endless. But, WW was always the go to. Obviously nothing ever worked. I was at my absolute heaviest weight and was not willing to try something I have failed at before.
We have all heard the statistics of losing weight and keeping it off with traditional diets. I actually just read a study here. It seems that the 95% fact (that 95% of people who diet gain all their weight back) is indeed true. It has also been found that most people also gain additional weight on top of the weight they lost. This has been the case for me and also the case for my sister.
I hope she can be successful with WW but I worry she won't. I worry she will only get more discouraged. Thinking about this makes me so thankful I have chosen the band. I know I could NEVER lose all the weight I want to lose, and mostly, maintain the weight I lost with it.
Monday, January 11, 2010
This topic hit home. It was almost like I finally understood for the first time why I feel sad, why I miss "food". I realize now it is more about the feeling of eating with others, eating in places, the smells and sounds, and no just the food. Yeah, I can still do these things, but not in the way I have been doing them for years. I also have new feelings about eating. I worry about PBs, getting stuck, what people think when I am eating and so on.
Don't get me wrong, I am so glad I had the surgery. However, I still miss the old way of eating.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
So, I say this all the time, but... I ate so bad this weekend. I ate out 4 times, ate cookies and cake, and wine and crap. Blech. I did work out hardcore, so maybe that will be my saving grace. Why can't I get my freaking act together. My social life is killing my weight loss. I am actually thinking about calling my doctor to beg for a fill sooner then my next appointment Feb 1. I just don't know if they could get me in any earlier then that anyway. Where did my great momentum go?!
Back to it hardcore tomorrow. I am not looking forward to Monday. Some Sundays I am so sad to the let the weekend go. This is one of those. At least I have Big Love to look forward to tonight. I have been waiting so long for the new season!
Friday, January 8, 2010
We got a ton of snow yesterday and last night and it looks so beautiful outside. It is sunny today so it is especially sparkly. It makes me want to snowshoe or sled. I hate how long the winter is, but I really enjoy the snow.
No big plans for the weekend. My husband's basketball team (the one he coaches) has a game tonight and he won't be home until late. I get out of work too late to make the game so I will be on my own. I plan on catching up on some crappy tv and exercising. Saturday Jason has practice in the morning and his basketball team has a bowling fundraiser that night. I am not sure if I will go or not. Sunday we are going to a movie. I love movies.
Happy Friday to all!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I got a fill... .75 cc. I am at roughly 5.5 ccs now. He didn't want to give me too much because he filled me to what he thought was "a good tight fill" under flouroscopy last month. He was afraid I would end up too tight if he put too much in. I can tell a little of difference with the liquids. The fluid moves much more slowly through my stomach and sort of gurgles down.
I am looking forward to testing it out tomorrow on real food. On a side note, my doctor was so happy with my weight loss. He told me I should be very proud of what I have achieved so far because it is a big deal. That made me feel good, even with a couple pounds still lingering from the holidays, I am doing great.
Monday, January 4, 2010
This is a face of a guilty woman! (Notice the sweaty armpit, this is post workout).
Okay, so today was my day to stay clean. I did pretty good all day, only eating what I brought from home and a good dinner. Shortly after dinner the doorbell rings. I hear the neighbor tell my husband, "Happy Holidays". I am thinking, "shit, please let him have given us beer, or a crafty decoration, or just a Christmas card, but PLEASE no cookies." In comes Jason with a little tin full of cookies. I immediately go into a form of delirium and eat five. Yes FIVE. 3 small gingersnaps, 1 buckeye, and a peanut butter goody.
Of course I feel guilty. I march my ass upstairs at once and jog on and off for an hour burning 440 calories... goodbye cookies.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Tomorrow is also my 4 month bandiversary. As of now I have lost 50 lbs in four months and I am really happy with that. I have never had restriction so I have proved to myself I can do this. I go in for my third fill on Tuesday and hopefully will finally start to experience the magic.
Happy New Year!