Today, I went for my second appointment with my new therapist. Technically this is the 3rd time because he did my pre-op evaluation, but as a real patient.. this is the 2nd. I really really like this doctor. He is kind and understanding and already knows the real me. I had a really great session with him today and I left feeling good about things I have felt bad about for years. One of the things we talked about today was my two sides to my personality.
I have always been very creative and went on to get an bachelors of Fine Arts. I love art, I love creating it, admiring it, critiquing it...everything about it. However, after college I ended up doing jobs that I did not feel passionate about to pay the bills while doing artsy things on the side. One day I got tired of the not passionate feelings and decided I would get my Master of Library Science. So... now I am a librarian and LOVE my job. To me books were always pieces of art and now I am around them all the time.
I am a teen services librarian... so that means dealing with and getting to know all the people going through the angstiest part of their lives (the part I struggled with the most). I love all my kids. I see so much of me in many of them, and I am so proud when they have successes in their lives. In many ways I am still struggling with the things I struggled with in high school... feeling like I fit in... calming my manic side... and most importantly, staying true to Anna.
My therapist made me feel really good today. He made me understand that there is nothing wrong with this Anna and that I shouldn't stifle my creativity or passions. I think not being myself has been part of the eating... I feel like I have to fit a mold... be the person other people want me to be.
Enough of this heavy stuff... tomorrow is weigh in day! I hope I have a loss to report, but I will report even if it is with a gain.